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#222915 - 05/31/08 08:26 AM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: BethG]
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Megastar
Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 2057
Loc: The Wild, Wild West
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Is this a trend? Is "Mrs" dying out?
Yes, I definitely think it is. I've never been comfortable with it, either hearing it or using it for someone else. If/when the man & I marry, I'll take his last name. But I'll still cringe internally if someone calls me "Mrs. B". Well, except for him maybe  Many of my customers are home schoolers, and big on teaching their children "respect" - which meant referring to me by "Mrs". The kids are around a lot during the summer, some of them will spend a day with me now and again. I have ended up having "the talk" with several of the parents - even before the "Mrs" part went away. To me, "respect" is honoring someone's wishes, and I prefer to be called by my first name. Most of the kiddos now call me by my first name. One family's kiddos call me "Miss wyme", which is a compromise I can live with. Although it makes me want to check the mirror and see if my hair is turning blue!
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"My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."
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#223015 - 05/31/08 12:40 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: ChooseToBe]
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Absolutely Fabulous
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5266
Loc: United States
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But even with the usage strategy, your legal name--the one that goes on your driver's license, passport, tax forms, and all other important documents--remains the same. To change that, you'd have to go through a legal procedure. Marriage counts as such a procedure, but it's not always gender blind... some states have passed such laws, but in others, if a man wants to take his wife's name, he has to go through that court rigamarole. Uh... no. Having done this, I can tell you from personal experience that I merely typed my intention to stop using my old name, and had that statement notarized. I presented it to get a new driver's license. After that, the license served as legal ID when I changed the name on everything from Social Security card to insurance policies. That's the best kept secret, then, isn't it? Glad you're broadcasting this strategy. It could save lots of people lots of money!
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My other home has chicken legs.
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#223017 - 05/31/08 12:44 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: ]
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Absolutely Fabulous
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5266
Loc: United States
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We have had this conversation before I think? lol Yes, it's a very hot topic! I am my own person, I already have a name, and thats that. My thoughts exactly.
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My other home has chicken legs.
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#223022 - 05/31/08 12:59 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: GreenTea]
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Megastar
Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 4299
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But even with the usage strategy, your legal name--the one that goes on your driver's license, passport, tax forms, and all other important documents--remains the same. To change that, you'd have to go through a legal procedure. Marriage counts as such a procedure, but it's not always gender blind... some states have passed such laws, but in others, if a man wants to take his wife's name, he has to go through that court rigamarole. Uh... no. Having done this, I can tell you from personal experience that I merely typed my intention to stop using my old name, and had that statement notarized. I presented it to get a new driver's license. After that, the license served as legal ID when I changed the name on everything from Social Security card to insurance policies. That's the best kept secret, then, isn't it? Glad you're broadcasting this strategy. It could save lots of people lots of money! Its all detailed in a book from Nolo Press called "How to Change Your Name." They also have an excellent book on adopting your stepchildren, which I used, too. Again, no attorney, no fees. I'm big into do-it-yourself.
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#223040 - 05/31/08 02:21 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: Jessucka]
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Absolutely Fabulous
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5266
Loc: United States
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I wouldn't mind being Mrs. Jessica "so and so." But I dont really think I'd like to be Mrs. Buck "so and so." Yes, my name is Jessica and his is Buck. I can be open about that b/c my myspace page would even tell you that. I'm not sure if this has changed... but my mom got her masters degree at Harvard, and to this day gets the Harvard alumni magazine. The whole time I was growing up, it came addressed to Mrs. my dad's name (first and last). Not her first name, her married name. They wouldn't change that despite complaints.
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My other home has chicken legs.
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#223059 - 05/31/08 04:30 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: ChooseToBe]
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Megastar
Registered: 08/21/06
Posts: 4410
Loc: California
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Ever since Jul's and I got married she took on my last name and signed everything with her new one. Her licence read Jul's such and such as well, I think all she did was show a marriage certificate to the DMV. The only people that she was required to sign under her maiden name was the IRS because up until about 2 years ago she never changed her social security number. Some new law passed which required her name on her drivers licence to match her social in order to renew her licence...Or else she might have never changed it..... Did you mean she changed the name associated on her SS#? Or did she actually apply for a new number? You know I never asked her, I believe she said she was now required for her name on her licence to match her SS#. So I'm not sure if they gave her a new number or now just associate her new name with the old number...
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To stand beside a soldier and walk through his pain, will humble a civilian to no longer complain.....
Unknown author.
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#223060 - 05/31/08 04:40 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: MNM]
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Megastar
Registered: 05/24/06
Posts: 3019
Loc: Upstate, NY
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Ever since Jul's and I got married she took on my last name and signed everything with her new one. Her licence read Jul's such and such as well, I think all she did was show a marriage certificate to the DMV. The only people that she was required to sign under her maiden name was the IRS because up until about 2 years ago she never changed her social security number. Some new law passed which required her name on her drivers licence to match her social in order to renew her licence...Or else she might have never changed it..... Did you mean she changed the name associated on her SS#? Or did she actually apply for a new number? You know I never asked her, I believe she said she was now required for her name on her licence to match her SS#. So I'm not sure if they gave her a new number or now just associate her new name with the old number... You have the same ss# all of your life. The name should be the only thing that changes. Unless you have fake ideas or are in a witness protection plan.
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#223363 - 06/02/08 09:05 AM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: Jessucka]
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Absolutely Fabulous
Registered: 06/15/06
Posts: 5538
Loc: Venus
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When I was married I was never referred to as Mrs. KB. I never signed anything as Mrs. and none of our bills came as Mr. & Mrs. I look forward to being a Mrs. again. Especially if it's Mrs. Hot Ponytail Man  My married name would sound like a stripper name tho...which I guess I don't mind so much. 
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#223542 - 06/02/08 04:05 PM
Re: Death of Mrs.
[Re: Jessucka]
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Absolutely Fabulous
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5266
Loc: United States
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You have the same ss# all of your life. The name should be the only thing that changes. Unless you have fake ideas or are in a witness protection plan. Lots of people do have fake ideas, don't they? Especially long winded professors. Sorry, couldn't resist... not making fun of you. 
_________________________
My other home has chicken legs.
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