Hi,

I have a strange issue and I registered here because there seem to be some cool people here who may be able to help me understand what’s happening.

I married a lady two years ago after a very brief but passionate relationship. I’m not exactly a novice in the bedroom having had many previous partners from a number of social and cultural backgrounds – far more in fact than my wife admits to. However, her sexual skills were, from the start, a good way ahead of any lover I had ever been with before. As time has gone on, so her technique has developed but I cannot figure out how she can do this. It is very addictive. When she is that great at giving head, has hand skills like she does and has the sort of muscle control she is now displaying and it just keeps on getting better, I cannot help but think she has either lied about her previous partners or (and this is the bit that is troubling me) has in some way done this “professionally” ? I understand that lovers grow in their intimacy but if I am getting better at pleasuring her by a factor of 1 then she is getting better by a factor of 10 – seemingly without effort.

I came across some old legal papers while we were moving in together and saw a reference in her ex husbands custody claim alleging that the model agency she worked for was a little more than that. Nothing concrete, just an allegation. I don’t know what to think. One side of me says that after 2 years of a great relationship and yummy sex, I should just STFU. Another part of me makes me feel like I am being manipulated. She is financially dependent on me for her own life and that of her kids (schools, college, cars etc). Whenever we argue, after the dust dies down, we end up in bed and after she’s finished with me, I have agreed to whatever she wanted.

I love her, I love the kids but I am disconcerted by the way someone can so easily manipulate me this way sexually.

Any advice appreciated.

Maybe im not reading what you wrote properly but if she getting better during your relationship why does it matter what she did in her past? Since that would mean she would have been that great already when you guys met

Who cares what she did before she met you, it makes no difference. All that matters is what she's doing now since she has been with you.

You can't change what has already happened and neither can she. That's one thing you'll never be able to control. Be happy that you have a seemingly great woman who you genuinely enjoy as a person and who rocks your world in bed. Who she was before she met you has nothing to do with you and shouldn't have anything to do with your relationship since her past has absolutely nothing at all to do with you.

Personally, if it were me I would STFU, lie back and enjoy it.

I think most of us have things in our past that we are perhaps not entirely proud of and might not want to share, even with a spouse.

Ask yourself, if you did find she had been a hooker, would it erase what you feel for her?

If she does have that past, and has no qualms about it, then she'll likely eventually tell you. Or, if you can't stand the thought of not knowing, then you have to figure out a discreet way of asking her. Either way, if it is her past, then some people paid good money for her to get an education, as it were.

So maybe STFU is good advice, and work on bettering your own game. As long as she isn't manipulating you now -- which is a different topic -- then it sounds like you are the recipient of the skills and attention of an in-tune lady.

the only thing i'd worry about is STD's, but i've never been married so maybe you have to get checked for all that stuff before you get the license(i don't know). If it's starting to obssess you maybe you SHOULD ask her. If she is dismissive of it or seems deeply wounded in some way never ask again. If you want to know because you feel judgemental of it or jealous(and will continue to be jealous even if you know) or something like that then DON'T ask. There is the possibility that other men in the past have had a problem with her past and she's learned it's best to keep her mouth shut. there is also the possibility that she's just a fast sexual learner. The first bj i ever gave was the best the guy had ever had(i was later told by someone else, a female) and the guy was much much more experienced than i was,although we were only a year or two apart in age. Anyway, i am one opinion. Asking might drive a wedge between you two. The consensus of keeping your mouth shut might be the best answer. if you need to talk about it, talk here. ps i'm not tooting my own sexual horn; i DON'T always give good blow jobs, *lol, at myself*

Everyone has a past, and everyone has done things they are not proud of. The one thing you need to focus ion is that she is who she is now and she married you!

Her past is the past, leave it there!