I'm clearly knew on here, I was randomly looking up things about deepthroating and that's how i got here oddly enough, i'm a guy I was just wondering what girls would be looking for if they wanted to learn how to do that.

Anyway,
My ex girlfriend and I had been dating for about 4 months, until recently she broke up with me because she "didn't want to feel tied down at college" which i understand, but we had made promises to eachother to love and be with the other no matter what steps in our life have had to change to "grow up" so-to-speak, but we broke up, and i asked if i could just be by myself for awhile without any friendship because i couldn't get over her. she said "if you leave me now, i don't want to be friends with you when you come back" even though i would probably only stop talking to her for a week or 2. During our relationship, in the beginning she had given me oral sex, but would not let me pleasure her back, in any way. I agreed to letting her do it to me one time without me returning the favor, but made her promise to let me next time, she told me that she had a tramatic experience, and has never had an orgasm... and every time i tried to pleasure her, every time she got close to an orgasm she said her body started to ache, and asked me to stop, sometimes she would cry, (i stopped the moment she asked, but she would try to go longer because she knew i enjoyed pleasuring her) Eventually, i managed to get her to have an orgasm during an oral sex session i had with her, and from then on any time we did anything i would be able to make her orgasm. But these are all beside the point. she got to college, and we stayed together for about 2 weeks, before she cheated on me at a party, where she accidentally made out with some guy while she was drunk, she apologized for it and told me how worthless she felt, and i forgave her right away, (i love the damn girl). but eventually she asked for us to break up because she couldn't see me, "this was a week after i had worked my first job out of highschool, and i had been planning on seeing her that saturday," so i basically felt like there was slap one in the face alright? well her friends up at college, are, to put it nicely, complete assholes. they are the type of girls that talk @$#%^@ about everyone that walks by, and i don't like them, (she was going to frat parties, and i warned her about roofies) literally 1 week after we broke up, she was at a frat party, got roofied, and lost her virginity, to a complete stranger, not only did she only tell me this, but she also did not tell any of her friends up at college that she had no idea who she had sex with, but she told them she consentually had sex with the person (who's name had slipped her mind). basically we have been fighting since, because i still love her, and she wants me to be friends, if not friends she ignores me like i'm the fnucking plague.


*edit* so i kinda just realized this forum in intended for women's use, i apologize for being a guy in this case, but i need help, and i think women with experience can explain to me what might be going on in her head better than anyone else.

it sounds to me like she needs to do her own thing for a while--even if she does have feelings for you, she might not be in a place where she wants to date seriously or she may have her own things to figure out. Sorry I can't help more

yeah, i'm starting to realise that myself. i just need to let things go. thank you though, i really appreciate it

It sounds like shes making exscuses for not making a comitment to you while still wanting to keep you around as a fallback/playtoy.
Ie I dont really want you but I dont want anyone else to have you ether so keeping you emotionally attached (ie just wana be friends but only on my terms)
Real friends dont say ill only be your friend with conditions.

My advice would be walk away from the relationship. Maybe that means the end of you & her (in wich case it wasent a good relationship) or given time she will get her sh*t together, realize her "friends" are what they are & what shes lost. in wch case it would be up to her to seek you out.. if your still avalible.
Because its quite possible that buy hanging onto the relationship you had with her, your keeping yourself from finding something better.

Hope that made sense, exsplaing women that make no sense (to me) isent my strong point

And again, i appreciate the advice, i like your outlook on it, and most of my friends and her (old) friends have said the same thing. it's just hard to let her go, other than this bad ending, she was an amazing girlfriend.

time heals all. You'll get over it, given time. It's hard to let go. I've been there .... once. Usually, I've found it easy to move on, but this last time has been the hardest.

But if you are talking about college, you guys are probably young. I'm a 40-something guy and it's never easy.

Try to think positively and truly believe that you have a lot of options and that there other women out there who will treat you better or treat you as a long term prospect but really, if you are under 25, you shouldn't be looking to settle down.

I'm trying to stop thinking about the love of my life who treated me badly and who I walked away from, but I'm trying to come to grips with the face that she's wrong for me. I've slept with several other women since we broke up 7 weeks ago. I've even slept with her a few times, but that was a mistake because it keeps the wound open and prevents the healing from beginning.

So, just my advice, but staying friends might not be the best idea. A little distance might help you heal faster. Out of sight, out of mind, etc.

No contact is always the best method for recoverinng from bad breakups.....any breakup actually, in my opinion. Even more so if you had really strong feelings for the person, because any kind of contact just...hurts, if it's not reconciliation and progress towards a healthier state of the same type of relationship.

Even if you guys ended up having a really good friendship...it's not going to be what you really want. And that's gonna hurt. You'll probably be miserable if you were/are in love with her.

It's the last thing you want to do....but from my experience, no contact is the best thing you can do - for you and her. I second MissNaughty, in that she's got some things she needs to figure out and get together in order to manage a healthy relationship. I also second Graham's statement that time heals all wounds. You'd be amazed with no contact how detached you'll be from all of this and how much acceptance you'll have for the way things are playing out in just a few months, if you focus on yourself.

If you're like me, though, and absolutely must have an explanation that you can understand for her behavior before you'll let it go.....there's a really good post on another relationship forum about this topic. (moderators, if this illegal - sorry!):

Google Loveshack Community Forums, and once at the site, go to the Relationships forum. In the Search field on the forum, put in G.I.G.S.. That should pull up a post called Grass Is Greener Syndrome. It's a very good explanation on what your ex may be going through right now, and seems a very reasonable perspective as well.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

Thanks guys' i really appreciate the input, and will probably end up not speaking to her again, and almond, i can't find the thread, link it in a PM perhaps?

Ever had that feeling that you need to be spiteful about someone, like if women are allowed to @$%*@* with your head so much you should be allowed to do the same back? i got that feeling for awhile, it still sits at the back of my mind, but i'm about to leave for the AirForce, i don't need @$#%^@ from an ex. I'll gladly stay the "prince charming" that girls look for, never cheating, and always caring. nobody is perfect, but i strive hard to be what women want, i guess i should have realized that not everyone is looking for someone like that (at a young age) when they say that. but that does not give me any excuse to be an asshole. i love going to parties and dancing with women, but i will never use a girls drunkeness, to take advantage of them, (even though they should be well aware of the consequences of getting drunk at a party with both women and men involved, i have decided not to be that mistake, or problem for relationships). I love people, sometimes i think that is my problem, but i have never had it in my heart to hurt someone. not on purpose at least. (i've made mistakes). apologizing and many *making ups* got me out of my stupid mistakes, which i wont be making again. @$%*@* dude, i've met some girls *my friends not romantic* that have told me that i just need to go out and fool around to get over it, go find some random drunk girl and make out or fool around with her, I looked her right in the face and said "do you really think all guys are like that?" my friend is a sexist i believe and she has very adverse feelings toward men and women, but she tells me she parties (and makes out with random dude's frequently) she justifies it because she knows the "consequences of her actions" and thus i send her more power from me as a friend to do what she knows to be right. we know the consequences of our actions, we just prefer pleasure over sacrifice 9 times out of 10, and i don't blame anyone for that. i guess that is kinda why i have trouble getting over my ex. the experience was amazing until she got to college. i need to get over it quick, there's plenty of other very attractive people i have to meet, and i love women a LOT, everything about them, i just love the different outlook's and the intricate lies and the beautiful thoughts,( i'm not saying every girl lies, i'm just pointing out that i love women's ups and downs, good and bad, i just love getting to know girls.) my friends are the same way, although i find most of my guy friends have been mistreated by women, and get over it by being extremely spiteful toward them.


*edit* i apologize for my frequent innappropriate language, i'm not used to the censorship more so, I have a strong bond with the infamous 4 letter words xD

This chick is just messing with you, dude. Forget about her. I know it's easier to say than to do because you have all these feelings for her. You sound like a very sensitive guy who's got a rotten outlook on life. I know that you think you've got a great outlook, but, really, you're pretty morose.

Your one female friend, who told you to just go make out with random drunk chicks, is not that far off. What you should be doing is hanging out with women and trying to get in their pants. That's what life is about at your age, and you should be enjoying yourself and you should also be safe.

But, you're not in that frame of mind. You gravitate towards wounded birds, and that's also what a lot of people at your age do. This business of her having had a "traumatic experience," could be true, or it might not be. But she knows that it motivates you.

She's asking you to be careful with her, but then she turns around and poops on you with another guy.

Take it from someone who was a lot like you at your age, you're too nice. I'll tell you because I'm sure you've heard it before. Too nice means that you care way too much about not hurting others because you're trying too hard not to get hurt, yourself, for whatever reason.

People read that in you and, really, most people your age just don't get it. You're the crossing guard in a wreckless world, and you're sort of getting treated that way.

If there's any way you can lighten up and be a little less serious, you should. I'm not saying to go out and make out with random drunk chicks, but, I think you should probably just continue to do what you're doing, but enjoy pursuing a few girls at once and be practical. If they keep giving you headgames, continue to move forward until you find someone who doesn't. Don't try to fix anyone. Find someone who treats you well and stick with them. Don't bother with the fnck ups.

I had that feeling and in the end I only spited myself.

So word of advise , just let it go.All of this will soon be a thing of the past.
Hold onto your good qualities and stay true to who you are.

@enough_already, I get you, i'm kinda flirting with a girl now, and keeping a few others close too, i'll see how much fun i can have and how serious this current one can be, and if I am warned that she has issues, this time i'll be slightly more cautious or at least i wont let myself get too attached. I appreciate the words of wisdom, and @temptress_tally, I know it will come back on me if i'm spiteful, that's why i said fnuck it. i'm done with her, and dealing with her, i found out when i go to my Military Entrance Proccessing thing, the second of November. but i will not be leaving for basic until probably a few months after.

*edit* again i apologize for the intensive use of the F-word I really don't remember to filter it out i apologize.

In all seriousness you should forget her for now and date or hang out with other girls. You obviously care about her and she knows that. Sounds like she wants to have her fun and have you on the side too. Don't allow that. Just my opinion.