Thats incredible process! just try your hardest to stay positive and if you ever have a bad day, just step back and try to relax and take it slowly.

Hey girls,

Hope everyone is feeling better.

Jenna, that is great news that you are feeling good.Hope it continues. I was nervous to take anti depressants, so I am taking natural alternatives, which I think/hope will take longer.

Liz, I have cut out all caffiene, sugar, and alcohol out as well.Even though I rarely drink. I noticed a better attitude an less anxiety when cutting out caffiene. Every once in a while I do eat a piece of chocolat to make me feel better. I have been reading the Mood Cure and Diet Cure by Julia Ross and what she says about diet and moods make sense. I am slowly trying to implement everything. They are good books, learning a lot.

At my first appointment with my natropath I got a container of this powder called Relax Max. I have just recently started to using it regularly. My natropath told me to use it up to 4 times a day. I have only been using it once day. However tody I used it twice and it made me feel so much better. I was crying at lunch and on the verge of a panick attack and it calmed me down so that I could focus on my work. This is what is in it:

Magnesium
Inositol
Taurine
GABA
Theanine

I then did a quick google search on Inositol cause I didn't know what it was. Some sites say it is as good as an ssri and helps with depression, anxiety, and ocd. Search it plus whatever symtom you have if you are interested. I am hoping this will help me recover more quickley because reviews sound promising.

Happy healing!

Hopeful: thanks for posting about relax max! I actually might try that. Thanks for sharing how it worked for you, that gives me hope.

I bought ridohla (sp) something and valerian root. I'm going to start cycling these with the 5 htp. Today was one of the days I take 5 htp, tomorrow I'm off. I felt pretty good today and yesterday. The days off are hard but I don't get the two good days unless I take that day off. So I'm going to cycle with the other supplements.

I'm still on period but the last part is always better than the terrible first part.

I hadnt had caffiene, chocolate or alcohol for about a month. Yesterday I had all three. I really got so genuinely upset thinking I've been living like a cancer patient. Guys you have no idea how much I love my chocolate and coke. I don't feel a difference yet but I know before chocolate affected me so badly. I hope one indulgence is ok.

I always read about you girls doubting your feelings for your bf or husband...am I the only one that only has worries about him cheating or falling out of love with me? I feel like the opposite to you girls! Not that any problem is better or worse but I feel so weird haha.

Liz I always use to be so confident with my bf. Like when we would go somewhere to eat or even to thr store and a pretty girl would be our waitress or whatever. That use to never bother me and now it does. I hate it! On my bad days I do worry about him falling out of love and cheating on me:(

Thank you Larara! That makes me feel better. I took some stool softener today and was able to poop. OMG that feels like TMI. But it feels so much better. My..."trunk" of my body was in so much pain and it feels a lot better now.

Jenna, congrats on the ring! I'm trying to get one now. I've had anxiety for as long as I remember (since I was like 6) and really, sometimes you gotta push yourself. Like if you don't feel confident, tell yourself you do and make yourself feel that way. It's hard, but you can do it. If he wanted to be with that "pretty girl waitress" or whatever, he would already have been with her. But he's with you, and he gave you a ring. Of all the girls out there that he could leave you for, he chooses to stay WITH YOU. So whatever moods you may get in from being off bc or anything else, he's willing to work through it with you! He wants to be with YOU, not with random waitress. When it comes down to it TONS of girls are pretty, but think about it, TONS of guys are hot. Are you attracted to all of them? Probably not. So what makes you think he may be attracted to all of those waitresses? See what I mean? Here's another example. I like girls AND guys. That automatically makes people think I like ALL girls and ALL guys. No, that means I like CERTAIN girls and CERTAIN guys. And right now I'm in love with 1 guy and THAT'S IT. Your boyfriend probably doesn't like girls JUST BECAUSE they're pretty girls. Pretty girls are pretty girls but HE LOVES YOU.
So don't worry about him falling out of love. Be confident with yourself and be confident that you have him.

Jenna...what antidepressant are u on? And do u feel like its helping u

girls i need help, i dont know whats wrong with me. I'm so numb, im literally like a zombie i think about nothing i have no feeling what so ever, its like im brain dead. It might sound like a good think but im not even having any worry, but its not right, its like i dont care anymore. its like i want to walk away. I'm even having difficulty saying "i love you" to him, why?! i really dont want that. i dont even know what i think about half the time. i just want everything back to how it was, im so scared that it isnt the b/c anymore and that its just me. its like i've completely lost myself and who i am. and im losing him and everything, has anyone ever had this before? i hate not being able to feel anything or even say i love you. i just want to sit there and cry half the time..

Hello ladies! Here's my update!
I've been off the pill for 9 months today! The anxiety is pretty much gone and as for it coming around my period I had a little this time around and I think the road trip could've triggered it. But all in all everything worked out and I had a good trip. I found it interesting I seen something on dr oz about anti D's and anti anxiety pills turns out they don't help you and test are showing it can actually make you worse. The natural way is the best way to go. But of course pill will still be around until one day we'll be forced to stop making them. Anyway Im still dealing with fatigue I'm waiting on some results to come in but my dr gave me melatonin in a very small dose like for little kids haha and hate to say I tried it once and I can't say I liked it. I guess I'll try again tonight?
For all you ladies to know IT ENDS! the depression is GONE anxiety pretty much GONE! and any numb feelings GONE! My life is mine again I'm in the middle of re building it but I can finally see it being possible! Hang in there for this wild ride your hormones will drive you insane, remember YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE AND THIS TOO WILL PASS just like everything else that's happend to you in your life you WILL over come this, this is just a different sistuation and different feeling and takes a little more time but it'll come to an END! what's really helped me is understanding what's going on with my body, having long talks with my doctor about my body and what exactly happend, talking to myself and becoming closer to myself. Telling myself it's ok if I'm alone,thinking of ways to do things that are going to be less stress on me and just giving myself time to be dead really, there's no rush to be or do anything it was an interesting self journey you really get to see who's around and what really matters

I am on sertraline (generic for zoloft) Honestly, I feel like they have helped tremendously! I only take 50mg a day and my doctor said people with really bad anxiety are prescribed 200mg so that made me feel a little better about them. I'm not one to take medicine so it took me a good 5 mins to take the first pill lol! She said she normally has her patients stay on them for 9 months. Im scared of what I'll be like when I get off them (I've only been on them for about 3 weeks) but hopefully my hormones will be straightened out by that time. She said the antidepressant will get me back on track faster. It can take them up to three weeks to kick in. It only took me 2 weeks bit when they did I felt my normal self within days. I broke up with my bf over this and not even 4 days later we were back together and I felt normal!!! Yea some days I do still feel a little numb but it's MUCH easier to deal with. I haven't cried in almost a week now.
Larara; girl you are describing what I went through to a tee. Whenever he said he loved me I had the hardest time saying it back to him. I hated when he told
Me that because I felt like I didn't love him. He would tell me how much he cared for me and how much I meant to him and it would just make me not like him even more! I wanted to walk away too and that's why I broke up with him. I felt like I didn't care so why did he hurt so bad to let him go? Because it's the birth control! I did not feel like myself at all and I knew it. I cried all the freaking time. My whole world was turned upside down. Oh and trust me I thought everyday that it wasn't the both control and that it was just me but it's not you, it really is the birth control. I still think sometimes that it really is just me not liking him anymore. But you wouldnt be thinking about it so much of you disnt love him. You wouldnt be on here venting and Researching all this stuff. Think if you really didnt want to be with someone then you wouldnt be so upset! Hang in there cause it really does get better. I promise you!!! I am proof even though I feel like i cheated by taking antidepressants but I was not going to put my life on hold for all of this. They were my only option bc of how miserable I was.

The only bad thing about the antidepressants I've noticed is that it's put a damper on my sex life:( I still get turned on by him but I can't get off so it's frustrating. That might be a little too much info lol but who cares. It hurts alot now sometimes too. My doctor warned me about all of this but said when I get off the antidepressants it won't be a problem anymore. It really sucks but I'll take that anyday over how I was feeling before. Have a great rest of the day ladies!

Jeanna- I'm glad anti D's helped you out of this mess just know there is a huge chance of a withdraw effect but that'll pass too just a little un comfortable I'm guessing? But on the old posts there are women who've been on them. Hopefully they'll come back on and express more on how they did with it pretty interesting

Hang in there ladies!

That would be very helpful if they did! I'm very scared of how I will be when I come off of them. Can't be any worse than I was! I'm just hoping for the best:)

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to pop in and give you an update. I'm 9 months off tomorrow. I've been seeing my naturopath since July and things have only gotten better since then. About a month ago, I had mentioned to her that my periods have been very irregular post-pill. She gave me these:
http://www.wisewomanherbals.com/index.cf...mp;secondary=45

She said that they would help reset my endocrine system and that I should see a difference in about a month to 2 months. Well, she was right (I was skeptical). Today is day 25 of my cycle and my period came this morning. According to this webstie, that is considered a normal period (FINALLY after 9 months of long cycles and extended PMS):
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/menstruation/a/menstruabnormal.htm
Before taking Menocaps, my periods ranged between 33 and 40 days, which is abnormal.

Besides that, my anxiety and agoraphobia is getting VERY MILD. So much so that when my parents went away for 4 days last week on a cruise, I actually enjoyed being in the house by myself and having alone time. My driving has also been so much better and I have a lot more confidence in myself.

Ladies, things DO GET BETTER. I remember reading other women's posts about that and I didn't believe them. I know that it's hard to accept when you don't feel well, but trust me, I went through it and I'm coming out of it just fine. If you can, I HIGHLY recommend seeing a naturopathic doctor, herbalist, etc. - natural is definitely the way to go, I agree with Wings.

Continued healing to everyone!

- Alyssa

Jenna; thankyou, i guess im just finding it really hard sometimes. Sometimes it literally feels like i dont care anymore. Like my worrying goes away and i am just left with the thoguht that i dont care about it anymore and that i am going to walk away.. but i dont want that, i dont want to walk away. but its so hard to see myself getting better when it feels like im not even worrying about these thoughts, its like im accepting them... I dont want to!! arghhh, but yeah you sound a lot like me, did you ever get that not caring thing?

I was exactly like that! I made a post not too long ago that said "I think I'm getting use to the fact that I've lost feelings for him". Because I wasn't worrying about it all the time so I thought hmm I really must not care for him! But then I thought well I have to stop worrying about it sometime to get better. So I told myself that it was a step to getting better. it's crazy how alike we sound with this! How long have you been with your boyfriend?

I am a little nervous though because last night I hung out with my bf and I felt completely numb. I did not care at all. He was really annoying me too at times:( but at least I didn't want to cry about it:)). I felt anxiety coming on too but I was able to stop my thinking before it got too bad. It's hard to stop thinking about it though when he's right there in front of me! I know some of you girls say you have bad days but is it normal to feel like I have all my feelings back one day and then a couple days later have them all disappear again???!!

I just want to start by saying thank you Wingsclipped for the encouragement that things do get better and that we can find ourselves again. I am glad you are feeling much better.
Jenna, congrats on the engagement and for beginning to heal. I have to say yes I have had a day were I felt pretty good and the very next day be one of my worst days, not sure why but it does happen.
Larara, I am also going through a phase were I feel like a zombie and am just so tired and I question if it really is the birth control or if I am just really crazing and that this is going to be the way I am forever. I too feel like I have lost who I really am and am not sure I will get over this.
I do have a question can someone please let me know how long they had these sad depressed days? I am 3 months off and expected and hoped to be much better by now, but I still have multiple days a week that I cry and feel so depressed. It never seems to be at any certain time with my period either, just every week. I am also stil having very irrational worried thoughts, is this all still normal? Any suggestions? I just really want my life back, the real me who was always happy and so full of life and excitment, not this doom and gloom sad crying worried person. I know people who have been off much longer than me say it does get better its just really hard to belive when you feel this down. Thank you all for the support.

Hello ladies!
Just to clear things up I did not get an engagement ring, just a promise ring I guess you could say. Even though I think promise rings are more for younger couples lol!
Today was not a good day for me at all. I cannot relax and I find my mind going crazy! I feel like I am going to go crazy. Last night I spent thr night at my bf's and somehow forgot to take my anti d's over there so I took them when I got home. Which was more than 12 hours later than I would normally take it. So I'm thinking maybe I'm like this bc I didn't take it at night like I normally do?? Is anyone else taking antidepressants? Is it normal for me to still have bad days along with good while on the anti d's? I would just think I would have good days until I quit the meds. Maybe that's just wishful thinking.

The other night I hung out with a really good guy friend. Since I've been with my bf now I haven't really hung out with my guy friend at all. I don't think it would be right anyway since i have a bf. But when I broke up with my bf last week I asked my friend to hang out. We are just friends. Absolutely nothing more. He is a great guy and I've actually tried liking him before and it just never worked so I know I don't like him like that. But when we hung out the other night somehow I felt like I liked him:( horrible! I could not believe it. I don't want to be with him at all and I don't think about him or anything so why that night did I convince myself I liked him???? I'm done hanging out with him until I get this whole hormone/bc thing figured out. I don't need those crazy thoughts right now.
Another thing I'm curious about is all I crave now are sweets. I'm normally not a sweet craving person at all. Is anyone else like this?

Happy healing ladies!:)

Amy--I wish I could give you some advice but you are further along than me. I was depressed for a month or maybe just a little over a month. But like I've said I am on antidepressants. I know exactly what you mean about having hope when you are so down though:( hang in there!

Amy- what I've noticed with most of the ladies on here the 3rd and 4th month seems to be a peak in symptoms you're experiencing. I don't really know why that is but I went through it myself and yes the 3rd and 4th month I felt were just like the beginning. I know it's tuff to see things looking up but by the 6th month the healing ball should start rolling faster and you'll begin to feel a difference in the way you feel and some if not most symptoms will subside. I recommend seeing a natural path or holistic doctor and getting a saliva test done to check your hormones and adrenals, the less chemicals the better off you'll be. Anything that causes a "coming down" effect or with draw can be terrible on your body and not to mention even more uncomfortable then you already are, your body is very sensitive right now so don't worry if the normal things you eat make you feel "off" all of a sudden. It'll be over soon you're on your way and almost there

jenna; yes thats exactly what its like!! its like im getting used to it or im just sinking into the reality that i dont love him, but its not true, it cant be!! ahha i know! me and campengurl are too much a like too we all have the same track of thought by the sounds of it :P ive been with him for 3 years now its sad though for 10 months of it i was super depressed and feeling suicidal because of all this stupid b/c crap!! how long have you been with yours??
ahh dont worry about those days honey, they happen. its only natural to get annoyed at anyone and the numbness is the b/c once again haha! its going to start to ease up and get easier, thats a really good step for your anxiety, mine has slowed down soooo much, before all of this i was always prone to anxiety but with the b/c it got soo much worse but its starting to get a little easier to deal with. i know what you mean its like the thoughts race in your head when theyre there because youre so worried about it!! and if course thats normal!! i aalways had days like that!! it means you're good days will come along more and more, meaning you will become yourself again
and to do with your friend, dont worry i had EXACTLY the same thing, my best friend is a guy and he had a break up so he stayed with me to have some company and cheer up, i had stupid thoughts going through my mind that i liked him. its entirely normal, you dont like them its just your mind thinking of different ways to piss you off! lolll

amy; its like youre brain dead isnt it? like you cant do anything because you cant concentrate at all. and it is completly normal to have several days a week of feeling like that. well i know i was like that, for around 3/4 days a week i just wasnt myself at all i would feel so low, i felt like everything was going horribly and then i would be fine but then it would go back to the depression and i would doubt those few happy days i had. but it is completely normal. we cant really tell how long it will take for you to get back to normal, but the happy days again will become longer and start to cancel out your bad days. the best thing to do on your best days is to NOT focus on how your feeling but to distract yourself with crappy tv or something, becuase the more you think about it the more it will bother you.

wings; thank you so much for the encouragement, ive been feeling more like myself than ever recently, might get a few down days btu ill see how it goes. its so good to hear how good you are doing! well done and think about how incredible it is you got through this. we're all amazing ladies!