Advertisement
Women's health information
covering breast cancer, infertility,
female sexuality, aging, diet and
women's health policy.
BACK TO...

Aphrodite's Home Page

ARTICLES ABOUT...

Female Sexuality

Relationships

Sexual Dysfunction

Looking Good

STDs

Men

Contraception

Reproductive Health

Conceiving

Pregnancy

Incontinence

Mental Health

Children's Health

Eating Well

Healthy Living

Supplements

Menopause

Weight Issues

Breast Cancer

Custom Search

Advertisement



HELP WITH...

Relationship Questions

Your Dreams

Personal Development

Counseling By Email

DISCUSSION FORUMS...

Female Sexuality

Trying To Conceive

Reproductive Health

General Health

Contraception

Menopause

Pregnancy

Parenting

Relationships

Members' Pics

Everything But Health

Latest Forum Posts
Oral sex and Intimacy issues?
by Mondrian
How can I give a girl an orgasm during sex?
by AngelGirl
I take it back
by AngelGirl
****Daily Drama of 13 Mamas****
by 24Penguins
Brazilian Wax
by Spotless__Mind
Interview tips??
by Spotless__Mind
For the ladies that post here...
by LisaFiguroa

7 February 2007
Fussiness A Big Turn-On

A new Northwestern University study has found that speed daters who romantically desired most of their potential partners were rejected quickly and overwhelmingly. The more you tend to experience romantic desire for all the potential romantic partners you meet, the study shows, the less likely it is that they will desire you in return (think: too desperate, too indiscriminate.)

In contrast, when you desire a potential partner above and beyond your other options, only then is your desire likely to be reciprocated (think: hallelujah, finally, someone really gets me.)

Writing in the journal Psychological Science, the researchers describe how potential partners who seem undiscriminating are a definite turnoff, and those who evoke the magic of "feeling special" are a big draw. "The wild part is that our speed-daters were negotiating all of these subtleties with only four minutes for each date," said researcher Paul W. Eastwick.

Traditionally, it has been difficult to observe initial romantic attraction in action, but the speed-dating methodology used in this study allowed the investigators to take a serious look at the chemistry that has been at the center of so much literature, art and imagination throughout the ages.

"How this all happens is a bit of a mystery," said co-researcher Eli J. Finkel. "Put yourself in the position of a speed dater. You're not only able to pick up something about the degree to which that person likes you, but you're able to pick up - in four minutes - the degree to which that person likes you more than their other dates. It's amazing."

"People who like everyone, unlike in a friendship context where they generally are liked in return, may exude desperation in a romantic context," Finkel added. "It suggests to us that romantic desire comes in two distinct flavors: selective and unselective."

The need to feel special or unique plays an important role in intimate relationships and friendships and the researchers say that there is a distinctive anti-reciprocity effect if this need is not satisfied in initial encounters with potential partners. "If your goal is to get someone to notice you, the unselective flavor is going to fail, and fast," they conclude.

Source: Northwestern University


Talk About This Article In The Forum...

Advertisement

Home Page | Discussion Forums | About Us | Privacy
Your use of this website indicates your agreement to our terms of use.
© 2002 - 2008 Aphrodite Women's Health and its licensors. All rights reserved.