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 The Dating Doctor
The Dating Doctor, Serena Mackesy, brings her hard-won dating wisdom to bear on your problems. You can drop Serena a line about your own dating conundrums and catch up with her words of wisdom here every week. Read her latest advice here.
Treat 'Em Mean, Make 'Em Keen
October 2, 2006
Ever had one of those Guys Who Wouldn't Go Away? I'm not talking stalker-hell, but that guy who insists on hanging on your every word even when your every word is "I'd like you to go away now, please." Who laughs at your every joke even when your every joke is at his expense? Don't blame him, blame testosterone. He's only following his hormones.
Testosterone is the source of both the sexual and competitive drives in men. Given that we're a primate species (and in those the alpha males always get the, um, lion's share of the females), your average Joe has necessarily always had to compete for the remaining females. One of the ways in which this shows is that: the less likely he is to get laid tonight, the more attractive he will find women (any woman). It's called the anyone-can-cop-off-at-closing-time effect.
This has been shown to be unshakably true. Researchers took a bunch of men to a bar and got them to rate the women around them on a 1 to 10 scale three times during the evening. Even allowing for the beer goggle effect, the men's rating of women's attractiveness soared by some 17 percent as last drink orders approached and their chances of striking up a liaison receded.
Which suggests that, though it's probably not a recipe for long-term relationship happiness, the old "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" adage has a grain of truth to it. Want a guy to pursue you? Well, be nice, but be indifferent. Be indifferent. Be a bit cynical. Take advantage of the first opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone else. Roll your eyes a bit. Laugh at him, not at his jokes. Make him work for it. He'll love you for it, the poor, sad sap. And the Klingon? Ask him how soon he wants kids. You won't see him for dust.
Read Serena's latest advice here.
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