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 Your Dreams
Are you convinced your dreams are trying to tell you something? If you think there's a message hidden in your dreams then Charmaine may be able to help you interpret it. She provides dream analysis for a number of newspapers and magazines and is now helping Aphrodite's readers understand their dreams. You can email Charmaine for help and read her weekly interpretations here.
Family Feud
11 August, 2010
Q. I am a 23 year old female who has a recurring dream involving my family, mainly my mother. I have this dream (different details, same idea) at least 3 times a week. I dream that I am very frustrated or hurt by something my family has done and the more I try to express it to them, the more they ignore me, which makes me more frustrated. I usually end up getting very angry and storming away after we have had a big fight. Recently it has escalated to me phycially injuring my mother, hitting her over and over again and I often feel as though I am not hitting her hard enough. In real life I don't have the best relationship with my family, but I do my best to avoid confrontation with my mother, because it's not worth it. I have been having these dreams regularly for about 4 years, and the only time they let up was for the 9 months last year that I had no contact with my family. What does this mean, should I cut them out once and for all to give myself some peace? Thank you for any help you can give.
A. You say you don't want to have confrontations with your mother but that's precisely what you're doing in these dreams. That's also the reason they're occurring - because you're not dealing with the issues in waking life. Your anger is extreme and if you could get to the root of it, and release it, you won't have the dream anymore. You don't say why your relationship with your family is poor but obviously you would know the cause so try to think of a positive way to deal with it once and for all, maybe write a letter explaining your feelings. When you didn't see them for 9 months, you didn't need to have the anger. I don't think avoiding them altogether is the answer, at least, not until you've tried some kind of resolution. Try it but if it doesn't work, do whatever you need to escape these dreams.
Husband Leaves Me
13 July, 2010
Q. I have a recurring dream which is quite upsetting me now. First of all, to paint a picture a while ago about 3 mths ago, my husband went to leave me, he packed his suitcase and said he loved me but he just needed to leave me. He only got far as his car, as you can imagine with nobody else involved. It absolutely destroyed me and I am now on anti-depressants. He came back in and we sorted things out. The dream I keep having is that my husband is packing his suitcase and is saying he just needs to go. Another dream is that my husband has left me and I am searching for him, phoning his mobile and searching for the new firm he works for in the yellow pages but it isn't listed in their and the phone numbers he has given me to his office are fake. I eventually got through to his mobile and his answering machine says it's his brother. Then I am hysterically crying as I want him back, I love him so much.
A. You are virtually reliving the real-life nightmare over and over. The only way to get over this situation is to put it to bed once and for all. The first thing you need to do is ascertain exactly why your husband felt he needed to leave. Was it just a result of a big fight or did it run deeper? If you need to get to the bottom of it, try couples counseling. If he only went as far as his car, you probably didn't need to let it affect you so deeply. Relationships are challenging but your marriage seems safe. Your recurring dream is telling you to let go and start trusting again. As long as you keep worrying about what happened, you will continue to expect a recurrence of the event and the dreams. The fact that you're still taking medication is proof that it's still affecting you. The other dream of searching for him and trying to ring etc is simply another version of the same message. Take heed.
Cannibal Husband
15 June, 2010
Q. I had an extremely vivid and disturbing dream this morning. In the dream I walk into a place I was not familiar with, only to find a small child sitting on hot coals in a large fire pit. Around the child was a bag that was essentially "steaming" the child and the wording on the bag said "to maintain juiciness". I remember grabbing the child out of the pit and just holding on to it screaming and yelling that "you can't do this"; the child was not crying and seemed to have a blank expression on its face (which to me was equally disturbing). I tried to take the child away but the next thing I know, my husband comes up saying that it is necessary for him and though he feels about it, he HAS to do it. In my dream I don't remember relinquishing the child because it then fast forwarded to after my husband completed his "meal" and I nearly vomited in my sleep. I have three children (6, 4, and 2) but the child in the dream was not any of my children nor did it look even remotely close to any of them. My husband was out with an old buddy of his last night so he was not at home while I was having the dream. I have read dream interpretations where the cannibal is either eating the dreamer or the dreamer is the cannibal, but I haven't seen anything about a family member being the cannibal and eating an unknown person. Please help as I just cannot get the images out of my head and would like to better understand its meaning.
A. What a horrible experience for you this dream must have been. I don't think the child being eaten was one of your children or even representing them. It could be your inner child. If so, who is "eating you up?" It may not be your husband even though he was the cannibal in the dream. Is there anyone else you feel has power over you? Remember this whole scary episode may have nothing to do with cannibalism as such. It's simply showing up a scenario that may exist in your waking life. Your subconscious has elaborated on the basic story. Try to keep your mind on the essential message which is that your little girl inside is in jeopardy. Vow to keep her safe.
Dead Boyfriend
18 May, 2010
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years was killed last July 29 and I been really having a hard time dealing with it. I wish every night to dream of him but I don't and I wake up angry every day. I had many dreams of me frantically trying to find him and every time I get close to finding him, I wake up. Now I had gotten to the point of begging for a sign or something to make me know he still loves me or he's ok or something. The next morning I dreamed I was looking for him and really thought he was around me but when I turned around he was not there, there was only 5 pigeons. And a week later, in the one and only dream that I was actually able to see him, he was giving me a whole lot of money, then we went for a drive and I told him he seemed unhappy and he didn't talk to me; moments later he drove away in a yellow car.
A. Basically you're trying too hard. Dreams are only valuable when allowed to happen naturally. Of course you want to communicate with your boyfriend through your dreams but it's not healthy for you or his spirit if you hold on too hard. You're not really angry that you haven't seen him; you're angry that he died. Once you face this, your true healing will start. It takes time to deal with losing a loved one and you'll never totally forget but I'm sure your guy would want you to move on and be happy. Your dream of trying to find him is literally your way of holding onto him. You can't really expect him to reassure you from beyond the grave. It's up to you to make your own life happy. The other dream you had is actually the message you were seeking but like all dreams, it came in cryptic form. He gave you money and drove off in a happy-colored car - doesn't that tell you he's okay and loves you still? Love never dies - trust that and trust your future.
My Friends See My Dream
26 April, 2010
Q. I dream about a little blonde girl dressed in olden-day clothes. She reaches her hand up to me and she asks me for my help and when I ask why she needs help, her answer is always mumbled so I don't understand. I'm aware she is a ghost and this frightens me. I tell her to wait in my living room and then run out of the house. The weird thing is that 4 different people have witnessed seeing this same little ghost girl that I dream about in my home at different times, all without knowing the other one has. What does this all mean?
A. This issue is one of those that divides people. There are many theories about dream interpretation. I can only tell you what I believe your dream is depicting. I think it IS a spirit. She is hanging around you for some reason and is what we call "a restless spirit." I suggest that the next time you see her, ask her to speak more distinctly so you can understand what she's saying. You can even do this before going to sleep. It's what we call `dream incubation' - you "incubate" the dream you want to experience. It certainly would be interesting to know what the little girl wants to tell you. There's little doubt that this child is around you if all these other people have seen her. I myself have had many experiences with "ghosts." There's no reason to be scared. She doesn't mean you harm. She just sounds lost and lonely. Welcome her and you never know what you might discover. Ask her for some lottery numbers!
Sex Dream Fabrication?
30 March, 2010
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few months. He told me that he dreamt we were having sex and he told me that he loved me. Is he trying to tell me he has feelings for me? I love him but don't know what to think.
A. Maybe he finds it difficult to tell you his feelings so is using his dreams to do this. It sounds like you haven't had sex and he hasn't come out and said he loves you so it could be just that simple - he wants these things! He might even be making up the dreams to give him an excuse to express himself. If he really did have these dreams, they are what we call "wish-fulfillment" because they represent something we really want. Why don't you just ask him straight-out? If you love him, tell him, open up and he may very well do the same. If you're shy about it, talk about the dreams and go from there.
The Aging Child
2 March, 2010
Q. I dreamt of a little girl, 3 years old aging to a woman about 40 right before my eyes. I was lying on a lounger and the little girl & her father came to visit. The man laid next to me with his daughter sitting cradling his head. We were talking and acting like long lost friends. I kept talking and looking up to the little girl. As I kept talking to the father, I noticed that the little girl was aging to the point that she was around 40 years old. I would appreciate knowing what this signifies.
A. This is a short dream and open to many interpretations. The one I choose to offer is that the little girl represents your inner child. The man could be a symbol for your father or husband. If I had more information about you, especially your age, it would help to give you a fuller picture. Are you anywhere near 40 or yourself? The aging part brings the child up to adult age. When I do inner child work with my clients, it's usually a 3 year-old. That's a crucial age in a child's development. One especially interesting feature of the dream is that the child was cradling her father rather than the other way round. Is your father still alive? In good health? Perhaps you're looking after him where once he looked after you. The aging process is more about normal maturation. The rest of the detail is up to your personal circumstances.
Child Abused
3 February, 2010
Q. Last night I woke from the most horrific dream, it had me in tears. It was pretty short, it consisted of me thinking my daughter was fairly quiet in her bedroom, aged 2 1/2, so I went to check up on her. When I opened the door there was a man, unknown to me who looked very pleased in the fact that he had just sexually abused my daughter. I then ran into the room and kicked the man in the head and at that point I woke up. This dream has really scared me, I can't get it out of my head and it's getting me down. I hope you can help me as lack of sleep and worry is really starting to affect me, I am also 21 weeks pregnant.
A. I'm not surprised that you were upset by this dream. It would be a mother's worst nightmare to think her child is being abused, and in the dream, you actually saw it! I can imagine you're worried that this dream is a warning but I really don't think that's the case. We all dream lots of awful scenarios that never happen. My feeling is that it's to do with a general anxiety because you're pregnant. Emotions are heightened as hormones rage in early pregnancy. Please don't keep replaying this horrible episode as it will increase your fears. In every way, your dream speaks of triumph. You kicked the attacker in the head which means you will always protect your children and keep them safe. Believe that and you'll be okay.
More of Charmaine's dream interpretations from 2009...
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