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29 January 2007
Kids And Drugs
by Serena Mackesy
Kids. Drugs. A pair of nouns that we're, unsurprisingly, squeamish about juxtaposing. But according to the Menninger Clinic, a non-profit psychiatric centre attached to the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, we need to stop being so afraid of bringing their infancy to a premature halt that we leave them open to harm. The majority of children encounter mind-altering substances while at middle school, so it's no good raising the subject when they're about to go off to university.
As with every choice your child will face in later life, knowledge is essential, moralizing is useless and hysterical exaggeration is counterproductive. The tabloid image of the hooded pusher selling crack at the school gates is a prime example of this: because the likelihood is that your child's first encounters with drugs will be something a lot more like a friend who's pocketed a few of a parent's prescription tablets, half a bottle of cough mixture or a sniff of an aerosol.
It may be hard to come to terms with the idea that the cherub you sat on your knee might one day be plunging its face into a plastic bag full of spray paint, but that's no reason to stick your own head in the sand. There seems to be a generalized fear that discussing the perils of the adult world with children will somehow destroy their childhoods, but kids are actually used to being warned about dangers of one sort or another pretty much from day one.
As they approach their teens, peer influences will become increasingly important in the direction their lives take; the best thing you can do for them is to arm them with the knowledge that will help them protect themselves. A 2005 study by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America shows that children who learn about the risks of drugs at home are up to 50 percent less likely to use them. And if that's not a good enough reason to start communicating, I don't know what is.
According to Norma Clarke and Lynn D’Antoni of Menninger's Adolescent Treatment Program, there are a number of steps you can take before your child goes up to Middle School. They include:
- Educate yourself. Learn what you can about the latest trends, and the effects of different stimulants (including, of course, alcohol). Talking about marijuana and other illegal substances is important, but so are the implications of abusing prescription or over-the-counter medicines and chemicals. These are the substances children are more likely to encounter in the early days, and it's important to remember that the fact that something can be sold legally doesn't actually mean it's not poisonous. Bathroom bleach is pretty widely available, after all, and you wouldn't go swallowing that.
- Embrace clarity. Don't confuse things with relativism. Straightforward messages will equip pre-teens with the armory to protect themselves while they find out more. Tell your child to avoid illegal drugs, prescription drugs and over the counter drugs such as cough medicine or inhalants. And remind them that illegal is as illegal for them as it is for adults.
- Talk about stuff (drugs, alcohol) as it comes up. Be it on TV or in real life; you don't have to make a huge song-and-dance about it, but the odd sentence on a regular basis will reinforce attitudes.
- Practice saying “no.” Kids are often unpracticed in saying no firmly and unconfrontationally. “No thanks, it’s not my thing,” or “That’s illegal. I could get into trouble," "Thanks, but I'm on the *** team," all allow a child to back out of a situation.
- Know what your children are doing. You have the right to set rules; set them but make your child understand the reasons for them. This includes Internet time, TV-watching, where they are going and who their friends are. It's perfectly possible to do this without being unfairly intrusive.
- Learn to Listen. And do it. Have dialogues, not monologues. “Learning to listen without judgment or criticism is an important part of healthy communication with your child,” D’Antoni says. “This opens the opportunity for them to share what’s really going on in their lives without fear of being criticized or judged by you."
Oh, and do try not to let your friends spark up spliffs in front of them. Like smoking, kids do learn what's OK from watching what adults actually do, rather than what they say. They're not as stupid as we sometimes give them credit for.
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