Death of Mrs.

Discussion in 'Beyond Women's Health' started by BethG, May 30, 2008.

  1. BethG

    BethG New Member

    Back in college I did a paper on the Betty Crocker Cookbook of all things and noted changes through about a 50 year period. One of the things was receipe comments by Mrs. Joe Smith became by Jane Smith instead. The woman gained her own identity.

    Back in 2002, I included our parents names on our wedding invites but did not use Mr & Mrs. A and Mr & Mrs. G but instead listed all our parents. I told my mom that I wanted her name (and my MIL's name) listed too because she was her own person, not lumped in as my father's wife.

    I never use the title Mrs. for myself. I seldom use a title at all....just my legal name including middle initial. I did take my husband's name but in actuality even he likes my maiden name better and that's what we use in restaurants, etc.

    Is this a trend? Is "Mrs" dying out?
  2. Jessucka

    Jessucka New Member

    Being called by the title of "Mrs. Joe So and so" is def. dying out. And should. I think.

    But on the other hand, I would take on my husband's last name and use it. But I would never replace my first name for his when being referred to, titled, or having to sign or be called upon.
  3. New_Explorer

    New_Explorer New Member

    I really hate titles, period. I've recently been called "Ms New Explorer" in a professional setting, and I just hate it. Just call me New Explorer. Firstname Lastname.

    In fact, can I have someone else's last name? Could I legally change my last name to the last name of my best male friend, without marrying him? (hypothetically, if I was single)
  4. demon-dolly

    demon-dolly New Member

    I was referred to as "Mrs. D....." once, and it struck me as so odd.

    I am dolly D......, not Mrs. D.....

    Mrs. D..... is my MIL, not me.

    I never hide behind my husbands name, or behind Mrs. either.

    I am my own person. I did take his last name, for a few reasons...such as his last name is more common, and I grew up having to spell my last name constantly for people, how annoying! Also, so that any children that we might have would have the same last name as their mom.
  5. GreenTea

    GreenTea Super Moderator Staff Member

    Probably. It would be a matter of going into court and getting a legal name change. Same sex couples have done that, not being allowed to marry.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  6. ChooseToBe

    ChooseToBe New Member

    Dunno if it's different in any other country, but in the U.S. you don't need a court proclamation to change your name. You simply start using another name. This "usage" strategy is legal in all 50 states. As long as you don't misrepresent yourself you may be anyone you wish. I could be Burt Reynolds, for instance, as long as I didn't claim to be THE Burt Reynolds.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  7. demon-dolly

    demon-dolly New Member

    That is interesting. I have no idea if that is what you do in Canada, I do know that to change my last name to my husbands, I just had to fill out some forms....12 years later there are still some I have yet to fill out, oooops!

    Actually, come to think of it, when my friend went back to her maiden name after her divorce, I think it did cost her $200 to change her name back.....
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  8. GreenTea

    GreenTea Super Moderator Staff Member

    But even with the usage strategy, your legal name--the one that goes on your driver's license, passport, tax forms, and all other important documents--remains the same. To change that, you'd have to go through a legal procedure. Marriage counts as such a procedure, but it's not always gender blind... some states have passed such laws, but in others, if a man wants to take his wife's name, he has to go through that court rigamarole.
  9. Jessucka

    Jessucka New Member

    I believe in the states you have to pay to take your maiden back as well. Thats why my friend still has her ex-husband's last name.

    I didn't know that here in the states you could use any name? Wouldn't that just be an alias? Then it's not 'legal' really, is it? I thought you had to fill out the paperwork, pay $50 and stand before a judge to make it legal.
    In fact, when my last name was changed as a child, there was paperwork and lawyer.
  10. GreenTea

    GreenTea Super Moderator Staff Member

    You can call yourself something other than your legal name. That's not illegal, as long as there's no intent to deceive. Lots of people do that to some extent, if they go by nicknames. But if you want to use your new name on all your legal documents, that's when you'd have to legally change it.
  11. ChooseToBe

    ChooseToBe New Member

    Uh... no. Having done this, I can tell you from personal experience that I merely typed my intention to stop using my old name, and had that statement notarized.

    I presented it to get a new driver's license. After that, the license served as legal ID when I changed the name on everything from Social Security card to insurance policies.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  12. ChooseToBe

    ChooseToBe New Member

    Again, you merely notify the appropriate agencies that you're now using another name. I never paid a fee for any of this.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  13. incognito

    incognito New Member

    It's quite confusing for other people when you and your spouse or children have different last names. That's really the only issue I see.
  14. ChooseToBe

    ChooseToBe New Member

    According to Wikipedia all Canadian provinces except Quebec treat name changes as do the states. In Quebec you must have permission from the Director of Civil Status. Many Québécois temporarily take up residence in other provinces until they can change their names, then move home, since all provinces recognize legal documentation from other provinces.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  15. Jessucka

    Jessucka New Member

    Had I known this, I very well could have a different name right now.

    Good to know!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  16. Guest

    Guest Guest

    We have had this conversation before I think? lol

    In Greece you can't take your husband's name anymore. By law. Even if you want to be Mrs... its now allowed. You have to keep your own name. Even if it wasn't so though, I would never take my husband's name. Or anybody else's for that matter.The only place where they call me Mrs. Husband's Last Name is by the baby's pediatrician because he is listed under his father's name.

    I am my own person, I already have a name, and thats that.

  17. MNM

    MNM New Member

    Ever since Jul's and I got married she took on my last name and signed everything with her new one. Her licence read Jul's such and such as well, I think all she did was show a marriage certificate to the DMV. The only people that she was required to sign under her maiden name was the IRS because up until about 2 years ago she never changed her social security number. Some new law passed which required her name on her drivers licence to match her social in order to renew her licence...Or else she might have never changed it.....
  18. ChooseToBe

    ChooseToBe New Member

    Did you mean she changed the name associated on her SS#? Or did she actually apply for a new number?
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  19. clc

    clc New Member

    I look forward to being a Mrs. And a name change. My name is unusual and I'm proud of what my ancestors did but I also very much see that when I get married, I'll be in a partnership and, as I hope I will love that person very much, taking his name will be something I will be proud to do.
    I know a family who chose a brand new name when the parents got married, so as to start afresh but without one losing out I guess. Unfortunately the first name they chose for their eldest daughter and their chosen second name made for the name of a famous comedienne in the UK and the poor girl endured comments for years and years every time the teachers took the register. I can understand loving a name and accidentally the combination making that, but they actually chose BOTH. Lol.
  20. maryberry

    maryberry New Member

    I love having my husbands name, and I don't mind being referred to as Mrs. Ryan C. He and I are soul mates, we're one, and I don't mind being referred to as such. Just because someone calls me that doesn't make me feel I lose one bit of my identity. As a matter of fact that is part of who I am.

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