Enjoying Anal Sex

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by Lush-Luna, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    I have a related question, but did not want to hijack the Anal Sex? thread, so here it is:

    My SO and I have tried having anal sex two, maybe three times in the past. I actually feel kind of guilty because although he brought it up, I did tell him I wanted to keep doing it so I could get into it and eventually we could both enjoy it fully. But does it work that way? I know trying twice doesn't really tell me much, but I did try it two or three times as well with my ex, a couple of years ago. I'm open to the idea of anal sex, my SO isn't pushing or pressuring me into it, at all. And as much as I want to try it, because I don't yet like it, in the moment when I'm enjoying myself I never ask for it.

    What I'm wondering is, should I just make an effort and try to have it more to get myself to enjoy it, like an acquired taste, or is there a better method to this? For me, it's a "new (but uncomfortable) feeling" at best. My biggest problem is, even when he's only fingering me, whenever he pulls back it kinda feels like a bowel movement, and that in turn makes me worry that I am having one, or will. I just feel that there's so much potential for fulfillment from anal sex, and it's an area I want to be able to WANT to explore with my SO.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  2. Madlydeeply

    Madlydeeply New Member

    Is there a particular position that you're trying? I'm far from an expert myself but since it's still kind of new to me (like you), I thought I'd add my opinion.
    We always started from doggie style position with him going slowly and me telling him to stop or me edging back into him a bit. The last time we tried it (maybe our 4th or 5th time) I had absolutely no pain so we decided to try a new position. I was having the same bowel movement feeling and I found that me "cowgirl"ing decreased that sensation a lot simply because it was less of the "up and down" motion and more circles. The only thing I'd caution is watching your weight while you're getting ontop of your partner. The only pain I had that time was due to accidently going too quickly.
  3. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    I think we tried doggy the first time. It was actually a bit of a while back, so I'm not sure. Last time we tried sideways though, I was on my back and he was on his side next to me. Thanks for the advice! I'm just trying to figure out whether just keeping at it until I get used to it works, or whether I should start smaller?
  4. celane

    celane New Member

    I have been with my bf for a little over a year now and he was the first person I had anal sex with. At first I hated it. It was uncomfortable and just didn't like it. But then I was like what if I can get to like it and it spices up the sex? So I kept with it and now we can have anal sex in pretty much any position. If you like it don't give up. But if you don't like it then don be forced to do something that doesn't feel good to you.
  5. Ian

    Ian New Member

    Two points; As to feeling like you may have a bowel movement- thats something that you get used to- even enjoy the sensation once you learn it rarely happens.
    Secondly it is a good idea to have some different sized toys to work your way up with. We find even now that it helps to work our way up each time.


  6. celane

    celane New Member

    See the thing I love about my boyfriend is when we are trying to have anal sex and have not done it in a while he will be easy. And if it still hurts or is sore he won't force me to do it.
  7. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    My boyfriend has been very patient and gentle, thankfully. We keep trying because I insist that I want to come to enjoy it. We tried it twice more about a week ago--once in the shower with me bent over, and once with me on top. It still isn't really pleasurable for me, but I think that last time I was slightly less uncomfortable. I guess I'm just going to keep at it, I really want to get to the point where I find it pleasurable.
  8. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Im curious to see if you can actually learn to ENJOY it(learning to deal with it isnt the same). Personally I enjoyed it from the first time so IDK if its just something you like or you dont or if its a learned state of mind or what. Soo many women try it once or twice and decide its awful and thats it so I dont know anyone whos learned to like it, they either do or dont. Anyways keep us updated if you do learn to love it. [​IMG]

    oh and btw--I like it best in spooning position. Its easy to take it nice and slow and he can easily reach around to play with the rest of the goods.
  9. Madlydeeply

    Madlydeeply New Member

    For some reason sex in the shower in any position has never really worked out for me. It always just feels awkward.

    Unlike TDG I didn't start out loving it, but the difference in sensation was interesting enough to try it again until I did get to a point where I liked it (it also helped that the pain went away)
  10. skyeyes

    skyeyes New Member

    I agree with using toys to get you used to the feeling. A nice butt plug will help and so will lots of lubrication.
  11. Jules0410

    Jules0410 New Member

    I have tried it in the past and liked it but haven't done it in a while but want to do it again but now i am a little nervous since its been so long, i don't want it to hurt again and i can never get into using the toys in my ass.
  12. gardengrl

    gardengrl New Member

    The potential is there!!! Years ago it was my bright idea to try anal sex and to tell the truth back then there was only one time that I really loved it. So it became sort of a birthday, Christmas thing. Then I few years ago my husband requested it around Christmas time and it was fantastic. We started using different toys and lots of foreplay (LOTS!!) My favorite anal beads are the flexi felix.I recommend shopping around for the best lube. I like a combo of astroglide and probe. I have found that all positions are not created equal. I need my husband to enter at a specific angle. The way I figured this out was for me to start while I am on top which leaves me free to move around finding the path of least resistance and then he can replicate the angle another time. I always go crazy for the g spot stimulation through the back door sometime for me direct G spot can be too much. I also can’t express how valuable a vibrator is it can help you relax and open up back there. To me it is the difference between liking anal and having to have it. After years of avoiding anal it generates my favorite orgasms and I usually cum multiple times. (So you can see why I love it). If you are uncomfortable about the bowel movement feeling make sure you poop earlier in the day and take a shower. If you are still uncomfortable fleet makes an aloe water enema but I rarely use this because it’s best to do it like 6 hours before sex and I’m not thinking about it. I really don’t know what changed for me but I am glad that it did and so is my husband. So there is my 2 cents have fun and good luck!
  13. xxMarinaxx

    xxMarinaxx New Member

    Honestly, I know exactly what you mean

    My ex and I tried it and the first time I hated it, but like you, I had an open mind and figured it has to eventually not be too bad... And, eventually, because your anal gland get used to the pressure and stretching, it felt good. You just have to let your body get used to it, and then once it is, it will feel just as good as vaginal sex.

    Good luck!
  14. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    Wow, thank you girls for all your responses! My motivation has been renewed. Sadly, I don't get to see the SO all that often (we're currently in a bit of a LDR), so I think that makes it harder for me to get used to it. But after reading through your experiences and doing a bit more research, I think I'm gonna try taking it slower to minimize the pain, and asking for LOTS of extensive foreplay. Win/win, right?
  15. MNM

    MNM New Member

    Well you can still practice on your own right? Give him a little treat when you see him..... [​IMG]
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013


  16. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    Haha.. A great idea (and with Valentine's Day right around the corner too). But sadly I don't own any helpful toys, and as a college student, can't really afford to go searching for one right now either. [​IMG]
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  17. Gramkar

    Gramkar New Member

    Hi, I thought I'd add my two cents as I and my GF have had some experience with anal sex.

    First of all, as I'm sure you know, lubrication is important. I usually lube her up and use my fingers to help her get ready for what's comming. Starting with one finger, then two and maybe more if the mood is right. The importance of being used to having something there has already been brought up a few times.

    For us, the best results so far have come while spooning. This way I can touch her in most of the right places, and with some (admitedly awckward) twisting on her part eye contact and kissing is also possible.

    As for the act itself, once he is inside have him stay still for a bit so you get used to the blockage, comunication is key here to make sure it's comfortable for everyone involved. Start off gentle and go from there.

    It was a little awckward at first ofc, but we found our way and I hope you find your own way [​IMG]
  18. Lush-Luna

    Lush-Luna New Member

    Hi Gramkar, welcome to the board! And thanks for all the tips, I'll definitely be keeping these in mind for the next time I get to see the SO.
  19. cumbriankid

    cumbriankid Member

    I have found that girls can either do anal or they cant. Those that can don't need much help. Those that can't are generally going to struggle.

    However my tips are:

    1) Experiment with different lubricants - I found that just regular Olive Oil was really good - it just seemed to cling to the skin (ruins the bed sheets though).

    2) The position is key - the girl I was with who was really in to anal only did it in doggie style for about a year - no other position worked (she then got used to it and could do any position). The current girlfriend will only do it missionary (even then its a rare treat).

    3) Use a toy at the same time - a clit buzzer seems to just take the edge off.

    4) A drink or two just kills the fear of pain and errrr. leakage. If your heads in it your arse will be too.

    5) More than anything if you really want to you will get it in time. if its not something you really want your on a road to nowhere.
  20. Ian

    Ian New Member

    Can't afford a sex toy? Yes you can. Carrots, courgettes, deodorant bottles can all be employed in that way. Stop making excuses girl!

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