Feelings toward BF/DH

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by Guest, Jan 4, 2006.

  1. pootches

    pootches New Member

    Wow. When I was on hormonal BC, I also noticed that it was whoever I was involved with romantically that bore the brunt of my awful moods and rages. So, the package inserts should list "makes you hate your boyfriend" and "makes you never want to have sex" on its list of the ways it works so well. It sucks and I hope we will be able to do something about it soon, for us & everyone else.
  2. Alex_C

    Alex_C New Member

    Yeah, it's so insane that the pill can have such an impact on your romantic feelings... I'm sure there are more like us out there who just think that it's THEM and not the pill that's causing them to lose touch with their significant others. I think this is up there with the loss of libido problem... something needs to be done and this should be talked about also.

    People are losing marriages and true loves over this.. I've directed a lot of people over to this thread/forum from other boards on the net who have the same exact problems. Most of the time it's men freaking out because their wives suddenly want to get a divorce and have no reason WHY they want that, when everything was fine right before the got on the pill.

    It's so horrible. I just feel so bad for the people who don't have the internet or anyone to talk about these problems.
  3. BabyDuck

    BabyDuck New Member

    This section really helped and to know I'm not alone in this subject matter. It has been a alittle better, so I'm hoping it goes away soon. Alex my story is soo much like yours it's sad. Thank you for directing me over here and to everyone else good luck as well.
  4. raleigh

    raleigh New Member

    Hello Ladies,

    How was everyone's weekend? I am feeling better - I know that my relationship is solid and full of mutual love - except only when I drift back to those weird feelings when I was just about to quit the pill. I just hope that with each month it gets easier - because when I am not thinking about those feelings, I am like my old self again... any success stories? I am entering my third month off the pill and I am ready to be done with this craziness once and for all!
  5. BabyDuck

    BabyDuck New Member

    That's it when you don't think about it you a feeling more like your old self or when you laugh it's like this is me again and it feels good.Why do we keep going back a fourth I wish we could stop our brains from doing that. Does anyone else go back and fourth and what runs through there mind?? I hate it and like everyone else waiting for it to stop so we can be us again.
  6. raleigh

    raleigh New Member

    I go back and forth all the time. I know that my gut tells me the truth and my head is full of irrational lies. I will have awesome days were I am excited to be so happy, and then have days were I worry that the thoughts will haunt me forever. I have faith that one day I will look back on all of this and laugh. I hope that one day I will silly for ever having to go through this... please keep the support coming!

  7. Alex_C

    Alex_C New Member

    Yes, I go back and forth all the time too.. it sucks. One minute I'm thinking to myself I'm the luckiest girl ever to have such a wonderful boyfriend and the next I'm like 'am I just lying to myself?' and thinking maybe everything really IS all wrong. But I know that's not true.. nothing happened in my relationship to make me feel this way and I still can't put my finger on what's been bothering me, so I know it's not something wrong with ME/US, I just have a chemical or hormonal problem that's making me feel this way.

    I'm not 100% myself yet, but I'm so much better than I was two months ago... and that's what's giving me hope. Eventually, we'll forget about all of this... I'm sure of it.
  8. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Do you feel like you're doing fine for so long and then something happens or someone says something that sends you tumbling back and all of those negative feelings and emotions start rushing toward you? I feel like sometimes I can feel it coming and wish I could stop whatever was reminding me of it, but by then it's too late...
  9. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    D's Girl--definitely! I'm almost 6 months post pill and every once in a while my hormones set a trap for me that's hard to stay out of. A friend of mine who has been for counselling (unrelated to the pill, for once!) was told that your body doesn't know the difference between something actually happening and your emotional reaction to the memory--so if you think about something long and hard enough, it will feel as if it's happening all over again as the same chemicals are released. If at all possible, distract yourself! Drop whatever you are doing and go for a walk or call someone for a chat. Don't worry [​IMG] It gets better.......
  10. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    On the support side--I just had a visit with my SO (12 wonderful days, yay!) and things are FINALLY getting better! yay! Since starting the 5HTP (which he started taking too, since he's a grouchy b*it** in the am) I have noticed a huge improvement in my mood and the quality of my sleep (always a big one!) Some of the major things:

    I sleep through the night
    I no longer have "self torturing" thoughts--thinking about things that hurt over and over again--or if I start to have them I'm able to successfully distract myself
    I know that I love my partner and that he loves me!
    I trust him again--I believe that he finds me attractive and that he wants ME.
    I don't find myself feeling sad and weepy for no reason (past couple of very stressful days excluded)
    I don't think about things obsessively anymore.....
    Don't worry ladies [​IMG] It does get better

    On another note--my mother recently got something called SAMe--has anyone ever heard of it? It's supposed to enhance mood as well and support joint and cartilage health......
  11. Alex_C

    Alex_C New Member

    I'm so glad you're feeling better, rowanthe! Your posts give me hope and make me feel tons better about things... I can't wait until I'm able to say that I'm almost or completely back to normal too!
  12. BabyDuck

    BabyDuck New Member

    Thats one thing I notice a change in to for me was I always had low self esteem but being sexual was okay because I was feeling attractive then I started taking the pill and began to notice a more negative body image and I felt like I wasn't attractive and it made me unconfortable to be sexual with my b/f which has never, ever been an issue with us in the 2yrs we have been together.These damn pills mess with everything, and you think what is wrong with you because nothing happend in your relationship I never though of the pills until I came onto this site and thank god I did.
  13. Guest

    Guest Guest

    rowanthe - Thanks for the support. I'm glad it's not just me. I feel exactly as you said in your post. I've only stopped the pill a month ago, so I guess I shouldn't expect everything to return to normal right away. But it's good to know that everything is progressing. Thanks for the info!
  14. Hope4thebest

    Hope4thebest New Member

    Hi guys, I am new to this forum, but SO SO thankful that I have found it. I have been reading what everyone has been going through. I am somewhat different, however. I cannot be on birth control (the pill anyway) at all. (have had blood clots before.) Anyway, I almost feel odd posting here without being on the pill, but I know EXACTLY what you are all saying. It's like slow torture. I try so, so hard to be positive and get past all these negative thoughts. I just can't seem to do it alone. I understand, at this point, that I need to get into counseling before I ruin the best thing that has happened to me. [​IMG] Yet, I can't stop myself from opening my big mouth and saying every, single thought that I am thinking (most of them negative) It will push him away and realistically, it will end up pushing him to do the very things that I can't stop thinking about. UGH! I hope you guys don't think that I am off the wall. I am just looking for the reason why. Today started off to be a great day. I had a good attitude, etc. Then, out of nowhere, I get one thought, memory, whatever, that brings up these feelings...and I'm off to the races and wanting to end this beutful 4 yr journey I have been on with him. It's driving me mad. :rolleyes: [​IMG] Anyway, thank u for listening and for any response.
  15. Hope4thebest

    Hope4thebest New Member

    By the way, Alex_C, you posted on Feb. 27, 2006 (the one at 2:55). Without sounding dramatic, I have to tell you that when I was reading it, it was as though I was reading something that I wrote. I haven't been able to connect with another person in terms of thoughts that way. Thank you, so much, for posting...it made all the difference in the world to me.
  16. Alex_C

    Alex_C New Member

    Hey Hope4thebest,

    I feel for you [​IMG] It's understandable that someone can feel this way not being on the pill. Chemicals in your mind can still be effected in different ways other than oral contraceptives. If you feel depressed or if these thoughts don't go away, maybe you should go to a doctor and see what can be done. Some people don't like anti-depressants, but honestly, they helped me SO much. I don't think I (or my relationship) would have made it without them. I just recently got off of the Lexapro and am still feeling pretty good.
    Edit: There is also something called 5HTP which is supposed to do the same thing as anti-depressants, so if you don't want to get on any prescription with side effects (loss of libido and there's always the withdrawal from getting off-it's not too bad but it does make you feel a bit strange) that might be worth looking into.

    I think all of us have one thing in common: we're all pretty sensitive. It's not a bad thing, I could be wrong.. but I know that I am VERY sensitive. If one bad thing goes wrong I dwell on it. I'm a big dweller, no doubt about that.

    Everyone has doubts at one time or another about their relationship. Like Kellifer said, love in a relationship is much different than love for your mom or sibling. It takes hard work and it's a pretty complicated thing.

    We can turn this into a good experience, though. For me, it's made my relationship a little stronger. Like, if my boyfriend and I can get through something like THIS, we can get through just about anything together. Let's turn this into something positive.. as hard as it might be.

    Sometimes I wonder if maybe around the time I started feeling like this I got out of the 'honeymoon' stage in my relationship. Usually it ends about two years or earlier in a relationship. Maybe that just scared me.. that I wasn't constantly wanting to be near him and wanting him to hold me or kiss me. I still know for a fact something was seriously wrong with the way my brain was working, lol... I turned into some beast all of a sudden.

    But, hope4thebest, we're all here for you.. if you ever need to talk or need support, we're here. Good luck and hang in there.. don't make any drastic changes right now until you feel that you're atleast making an improvement.

    And check out this website about a brain chemical called Serotonin. A lot of women on this forum have realized that we may just have a low level of this and that could be why we're feeling indifferent about things and having such horrible moods.

    It's midway down the page, titled "Serotonin: From Bliss to Despair"

  17. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    Hey ladies,
    Also check out something called SAMe. Apparantly it's been used in Europe for quite a while to treat depression. It's also used to maintain joint health and some other stuff. I don't know much about it but my mother started taking it recently and loves it.
  18. Alex_C

    Alex_C New Member

    Here's a link for SAMe... I'm really interested in that. How did your mom get it? I doubt it's in local drug stores.. it says the FDA hasn't approved it and America is pretty leery about supporting it. Hmm..
  19. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    ordered it from Canada [​IMG] I saw a bottle in a store here in Toronto yesterda [​IMG]
  20. the gryphon

    the gryphon New Member

    SAMe has been available in the U.S. for a while.

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