How to ask boyfriend for a rimjob?

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by itsasecret, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. itsasecret

    itsasecret New Member

    I really would like to ask my boyfriend of 2 years for a rim job, or at least some licking around that area, doesn't need to be full tongue-in. We have had anal sex once, but not this.

    I am afraid he will be weirded out by the idea, although he loves my butt. But he doesn't really spend much time, if at any, kissing it, biting it, etc. I have had to have a sit down talk about needing more foreplay in the bedroom.

    I am totally not into the idea of giving him a rib job, and he is totally against receiving one, so that works out perfectly.

    But how do I hint/ask for one? I know that many will say if I am in a honest and real relationship, I should just be able to ask and he shouldn't judge me....

    But...I am still very nervous about even hinting at it. My boyfriend is one of those "super nice" guys, and although great in the bedroom, he's definitely not a freak in the sack, and I couldn't just yell out "F*CK MY AS$ WITH YOUR TONGUE!".

    Thanks.
  2. Thonger

    Thonger Member

    Like HHW says, have him play with your crack when you're getting into it. Another thing you can do is play with his crack and he may discover he loves it too. When he's playing with your crack, make sure you give him positive feedback to let him know how much you love it.

    Since you've had anal sex before, perhaps try hinting to him that you're better able to take it if he rims you first. If he likes anal sex, he may rim you more willingly.

    Also, shower before you get into bed and hint to him that you're VERY clean down there.
  3. GrahamS

    GrahamS New Member

    just ask, making sure to let him know how much you think you'd like it.

    maybe you can make it more, uh palatable, by saying you've washed vigourouly and maybe he can just try it once?

    Of course, if you really like it and show it, he might well do it again anyway.

    I mean really it's no big deal. I do it and I'm a nice guy. Hang on, a sec. Scratch the last statement, lol.
  4. blisstongue

    blisstongue New Member

    If you want to initiate it without you feeling awkward, the next time he's licking you out, roll your hips, say to him "Down a bit" and he might get the hint. Or if you're sitting on his face, move forward a little and your ass will be above his mouth.

    Both ways don't involve you having to make a big deal out of asking him. Oh and if he doesn't get the hint first time, keep saying "Go down further whenever he goes down on you. He should hopefully get the message!

    Good luck :)
  5. EnoughAlready

    EnoughAlready Active Member

    Funny, long before the internet, when you really didn't know anything about what anyone else did in bed, I thought I was the only one who did analingus. No girlfriend of mine had ever had it before. I didn't do it to my girlfriend until we were dating for over two years. To be honest, the idea of doing it had never even entered my head at all. I'm not even sure why I wanted to do it in the first place except that I'm an ass man and at some point, biting cheeks didn't seem like enough.

    I remember being very worried that my girfriend would think I was a freak for even trying it. I think the first time I did it, once I decided I had to know what it was like, I sort of just kind of "accidently" did it. When she just lied there, and even started to enjoy it and wiggle, I was immediately hooked. I didn't know why it just plain had never occurred to me before.

    These days, with the internet, kids probably get ideas a lot faster. There's probably little that one can imagine that one hasn't seen.

    But it could be that it might just take some time for your boyfriend to find inspiration, that's all. He may think that you'd think he was gross or something.

    Would you kiss him after he did it? With me, some women have, some women haven't. I think it's a drag if they don't. You might want to think about how you're going to handle his mouth after if he does it.

    Otherwise, just keep suggesting/hinting/or being direct. Just tell him you want him to eat your ass, LOL!!! If he doesn't want to do it, I'll tell you something, he's probably not the guy for you.

    I dated woman after woman who wouldn't either A) give me a blowjob or B) if they gave me a blowjob, they wouldn't let me cum in their mouths, much less swallow.

    If you really want it, and you're open to what they like in bed, they should do it and enjoy it, in my opinion, and if they don't, then they just don't really care about being a good lover.

    My fiancee loves to swallow and I have no idea why I put up without it for so long from women for whom I'd do anything in bed.

    If you want it, don't be afraid to ask. You've already allowed him to do you in the butt. What's a rimjob?

     
  6. AliceBell

    AliceBell Member

    I'm sorry, but I gotta say it...don't ask to recieve if you are not willing to give (at least once)! Just curious did he say he wasn't intereested in recieving before or after you said you weren't interested? Because, being a super nice guy, he may have just said that because he knew how you felt? I would never ask someone to do something for me, that I wasn't willing to return.....on that note, I love treating my guy to a rim job, because I know how much He loves it, and how intimate it is.
    So my suggestion, if you are to "shy" to ask with words, then why not treat him first, then see if he returns the favour.
    PlayfulWife89 likes this.
  7. Thonger

    Thonger Member

    I agree with Alice about being willing to do it to him too, but I assumed he had it done before and truly doesn't want it again. I think some guys may think it's a gay thing to have anything done to his ass, and that's too bad for them because they don't realize how pleasurable a rimjob is. Try playing with his crack and see if he enjoys it or not. Many guys don't realize just how sensitive their ass is.
  8. EnoughAlready

    EnoughAlready Active Member

  9. AliceBell

    AliceBell Member

    "I am totally not into the idea of giving him a rib job, and he is totally against receiving one, so that works out perfectly."

    Just the way this is worded (and I could be reading too much into it) she more into not giving and has made that clear as a first point, secondary is the fact that he is not interested in recieving. Just makes me wonder how that dialogue was exchanged, see if she made said that she is "totally not into giving" before he agreed, perhaps he is just saying so, because he knew her stand.


    I am just saying that regardless of what sexual act it is, if you want to get it, I think you should be willing to give it too!
    And just like any sexualy act, you do for you partner, and enjoy doing it, because you know they love it, I wouldn't do anything that I knew my partner didn't like, nor would I want them to do it to me. I guess I see rimming the exact same as oral, if you want their lips and tongue on or in you, then be willing to put yours there too, and enjoy it!

    Now, if he really doesn't like it, or want it, fine. but I do disagree with you that men who want it or like it are a minority! I just think they don't ask for it, because they know their partner will say no way, and most guys struggle just to get their cock serviced by a mouth, let alone getting their ass licked!
  10. EnoughAlready

    EnoughAlready Active Member

    I agree with you there,for sure, AliceBell. I guess you question whether or not he's telling the truth. That's an important point, too, because if he's only telling her what he thinks she wants to hear, and then starts doing it, his own resentment will build.

    I know this because I've been one of those guys who struggled with women, who were supposed to love me unconditionally, to get oral that didn't seem like it came begrudgingly and didn't come with a measure of disgust over bodily fluids.

    While I was willing to give to these women, it's absolutely true that I became resentful and jealous of the sex that I was giving them. I thought it was totally unfair that they could come to me with any request and know that I was cool enough to do my best to honor it while knowing through experience with them that anything I'd wanted them to do, if they disagreed, risked me being treated like some kind of pervert.

    My fiancee now has no sexual hangups, really, except that she doesn't really like anything going on with her butt, either, so we're very well matched like peas in a pod. It's perfect.
  11. blisstongue

    blisstongue New Member

    I have to say, I have no desire to have it done to me at all, but I do like doing it to my GF. She enjoys me doing it to her and as far as that arrangement goes, it works just fine for us. I know she has no desire to do it to me either, so I won't have a surprise on that score.

    It's just whether or not he wants to do it to you. However you establish that, good luck but for every guy that doesn't like doing it, there's a guy who does
  12. anziano

    anziano New Member

    I have to agree with some of the others who have said that if you aren't interested in giving, than it's probably not necessarily gong to work out that you receive. However, I'd say that it's not a lost cause. As some others have said, maybe start with a little other sorts of anal play like his finger in your bum while he licks your pussy (can we say pussy here?). There are some special anal vibrators too that are available at adult stores or online. My wife likes the finger inserted while I do her even though I'm not too keen on my tongue going there. Likewise, I'm a bit bashful about having it done to me even though several women I've known have done it. I like licking under my balls but not right on my anus.

    If he is really concerned about the "dirtyness" of it, perhaps you can get him to take a nice warm bath with you and let him do the washing of that area so that he feels a bit more comfortable with how clean it might be. Just the action of him washing your butt can be a pretty nice turn on.....been there done that. There are some books around that talk about anal play and rim jobs and whether or not you like it, it is an area that needs to be pretty clean to avoid any infections and such. It's possible to get some pretty nasty intestional distress from bacteria haning around that area.
  13. wyme

    wyme Active Member

    You could broach the subject by telling him how amazing it feels when your knees are up and he's f*cking you so hard you can feel his balls slap against your ass. Or how much it ramps you up when he grabs your ass to pull you tighter to him and it spreads your cheeks apart. Or whatever it is...

    Let him know that you're sensitive back there, in terms of "it made me cum," "it made me cum harder", or faster, or whatever. If he's a typical goal-oriented guy ;), you should notice him spending a little more time and attention, and you can encourage and direct that.

    I think a lot of times, we just need to let our partners know where our erogenous zones are. And it doesn't have to be a serious sit-down. My nipples aren't very sensitive. DH's are incredibly sensitive. It didn't dawn on me to play with his nipples much until he told me that it drives him up the wall. Once I was spending more time and attention, it was easy and flowed well for him to say "bite it, pinch it, lick it", or whatever he was craving.

     
  14. MNM

    MNM New Member

    I've personally never been inclined to ask for a rimjob, never really wanted to have one actually. But I have given them and don't mind doing it either. Honestly if it's something she loves or wants to try I'm game for doing it.

    I think the OP just needs to express herself honestly to her BF. Too many fun and exciting, passionate and potentially erotic situations are missed do to a partners inability to express their desires to their lover.
  15. MNM

    MNM New Member

    [​IMG]
    As usual whyme, a most excellent post you have written......
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013
  16. youngfaerylady

    youngfaerylady New Member

    Personally I hate anal play so would hate to be rimmed. My ex wouldn't leave my bum alone and I was like "can't you concentrate on areas I do enjoy" I did it to him a couple of times because he enjoyed it but he was a mucky sod who always had skid marks so I insisted on a shower before, I hated giving him oral in any way though.

    With DH we have talked about it many times and neither of us are at all interested in anal play - which suits us fine and we both know we won't be surprised by unwelcome attention, it has made oral really relaxed and pleasurable for both of us.

    If I were you, and he hadn't tried or come close I would start a conversation with "Is there anything in bed you would like us to try or for me to do to you?" obviously you will get your chance to say what you would like him to try too, and give him chance to think about it without the pressures of being in the moment. He might not want to, or might have more confidence one day than another.
  17. Tempting Toffee

    Tempting Toffee Active Member

    I agree with the notion that, if you're not willing to give, don't expect him to want to do it to you.

    I wouldn't rim or receive it, of course that's my choice, I do not like the idea of it.
  18. Phillyboy

    Phillyboy Member

    I have to say, I never asked and never been asked for a rimjob.
    I'm not into giving or receiving!
    But it that's something that my GF likes and turns her on I would like to know about it.
    I get excited when my GF gets excited.

    So, if your BF is like any other guy, he will be more than happy to know what please you! [​IMG]
  19. Remy

    Remy New Member

    Hi everyone,

    How to ask boyfriend for a rimjob? (I assume that your anus is clean).

    A) With a man that has done it before - You will receive rimming if you lift your legs high enough and make sure your anus is accessible while he goes down on you (Performing Cunnilingus).

    B) With a man that hasn't done it before - I think you should trick him into it without him knowing. Get him to perform cunnilingus with you sitting on top of his face [facesitting]. Wait, until he is into it, and while you are enjoying it, rub your anus on his tongue. If he reacts negatively, just pretend that it was an accident.

    In my case (I am male), I perform oral sex with Cunnilingus and Anilingus combined has one act.
  20. bobbyg

    bobbyg New Member

    My wife need not to ask when we do doggy style and I stare at her ass I want it but I'm afraid of what she will think of me, I don't want a rim from her even if I'm clean shaven and wash I won't ask her but I realy want to lick her ass

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