Mommas of Toddlers & Preschoolers - Part 4

Discussion in 'Babies & Toddlers' started by gutterflower, Dec 10, 2011.

  1. TDG

    TDG New Member

    HWG--Id say its an occupational hazard unless it keeps up. Its so hard to say what is hormonal and what isnt really. It never hurts to try meds if it isnt improving..no matter the cause! I have weeks at a time when I feel like that but generally for me its just because Im not getting enough of a break(like if df is working a lot). As long as hes home on weekends and at least before bedtime during the week I dont feel like that(except the occasional bad day). I NEED adult interaction and unfortunity depend on df for that a lot. I have few mommy friends and none that are SAHMs and have time to socialize when I do. Now when Im preg its ALL the time. IDK if its hormones, exhaustion or just feeling generally crappy but Im sooooo impatient and just not a good mom when Im preg. Its the worst thing about being preg! I hate being irrational and crabby with my kids. Being preg also makes me not want to be touched so much so having kids all over me all day does not help me stay chill.

    I cant remember if Ive already mentioned this..preg brain! But Waylon has been going thru extreme separation anxiety from df lately. When df goes to work W stands at the door and screams for an hour or two and if I go near him he drops to the floor and freaks out worse! If df is home, but in another room he will scream until df comes back. During the day if W hears a noise in another room he thinks df is there and will also freak out! Its soo exhausting! He likes me just fine when daddy isnt around but otherwise he wants to be on df ALL the time. Weve nicknamed him 'tick' because its so bad. lol. Is there ANYTHING that can be done or do I just have to wait for him to grow out of it?

    quick rant--Im having pretty heavy spotting today and told df before he left to go help his brother I may need him to come home early if it keeps up. He promised hed answer his phone. 20 calls and txts later guess what...no response! If you promise to answer...Fing answer!!
  2. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    HWG - I get like that too and it has been especially bad the past few days since DH has been gone. I need a break! I am at my wit's end with the kids, especially Olivia and her "hold me, hold me" and incessant whining. It's driving me batty! Luckily DH just called that he is on his way home. I can't wait! I don't know how single mothers do it! I also have days where I have no tolerance for anything, but I think there is usually something to set me off (lack of sleep, DH making me mad, etc).

    Olivia never really had attachment/separation issues until recently. I used to drop her off at day care and she would run off and not look back. She wouldn't even say bye to me or turn to see me off, she didn't care! Now she hangs on me yelling "hold me" and "stay with me" and "don't go." It breaks my heart, but I think she is just becoming super attached to being home with me more. Caitlin is becoming more and more independent which is nice. She's now cool with laying on the floor or in her swing or being in the jumper and not attached to me. I think it helps that she's now more in to playing with toys and grasping at things.

    I actually feel a bit bad for DH lately. Since having Caitlin I've had NO desire for DTD. I think it's been done twice since she was born, and both times it was because I felt bad and I wasn't really into it at all. I'm hoping that changes soon. I think he's sexually frustrated, lol. But seriously the thought of it actually kind of disgusts me right now. It's so weird. But lately it's been like I have PMS all the time with him. Every little thing he does has been driving me nuts lately which causes arguments about me "nagging" him. I think a few weeks ago was a warning sign for AF and she will be here soon. With Olivia it was 4 months almost to the day. If it's the same this time that means Wednesday, ugh.
  3. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    TDG-I really hope you got ahold of DF and you went to the doc! Let us know how things are going!

    labby-O might also just be in a "phase". I've found (and 'they' say) that they will cycle through times of being more and less attached based on developmental milestones and even environmental changes (i.e. new sibling, etc.).

    I do feel bad for the men when it comes to sex after pregnancy-I know they are anxious for it after all that uncomfortable pregnant sex (or lack thereof). But, if you're not ready, you're not ready! They may be unhappy, but you had to squeeze a baby out of your hooha, not them! I've been the opposite this time-I'm no where near as tired as I was after James so I'm happy to accomodate. Sometimes I'm really into it, sometimes not, but I am not turned off to it at all. After James, I was just too damn tired and he was sooo tough during the day that by the time he fell asleep (which was never for more than like 3 hours) all I wanted to do was crawl into bed. Forget DTD...sleep...that's it! Then I would get really indignant that he would ask like "WHAT??? You think you NEED sex, I'm exhausted and never sleeping! I NEED sleep!!". I really wasn't very nice for a while... [​IMG] .

    So, I think AF is returning, too. Been having a lot more discharge lately (TMI, sorry) which would be more like my normal cycles and this evening looks like some darker spotting. I had really hoped as much as Joseph nurses that it would stay away, but oh well. This was about when it came back after James also. I am kinda glad because maybe that would explain my crappy-a$$ mood lately. Today was a little better than yesterday, so maybe AF will show tomorrow and then I will feel much better soon. Here's hoping!

    Like you guys, I think it has been harder because DH has been working 7 days a week for the last few weeks. It get's hard not only w/o a break but w/o your best friend to hang out with at least a little bit! I know how single moms do it...they have to work! Not that working is easy by any means, but adults are much easier to hang out with day after day after day. Rarely does an adult have 30 full-blown meltdowns a day over things like the granola bar crumbling a little before it makes it to thier mouth! What can you say to that?
  4. TDG

    TDG New Member

    hwg--oh it wasnt bad enough to need to see the dr. I just have orders the more it bleeds, the less I should be doing. So I wanted him to come home so I can lay down without getting up every 2 mins for the kids. I did finally get ahold of him...he said it was bad cell service(i dont believe that lol). I asked him if the service there was good yesterday n he said it was plus he was on the roof all day. Cant get better service than being that high! haha. Hes staying home tomorrow tho so hopefully Ill get some decent rest. It has let up anyways. Its so annoying that it never fully stops and yet they cant see any reason for bleeding on the u/s. It has to be previa again, altho they couldnt tell forsure. This is exactly how it was with that last time..never enough to be dangerous but never fully stopped. Theres no dtd around here! And I REALLY want to! lol. Stupid pelvic rest...I cant even have an orgasm! BOO! I soo know what you mean..even more than the breaks df gives me I think I just get so lonely it starts to drive me crazy!

    Ive never had issues with not wanting sex after having our babies, but then again nothing was squished thru my V! lol. Im pretty sure Id have been less excited to get back into it if that were the case.

    DF saw the weather channel tornado chasers near our house tonight. They were setting up stuff on the side of the road! Its weird, we are in a tornado watch and yet their website doesnt say anything about getting storms or rain. I really enjoy bad weather tho so Im kind of hoping for some excitement. lol.
  5. nessa26

    nessa26 New Member

    Hah, it's funny the topic of post pregnancy sex comes up, because it seems like ever since I've been home from the hospital, DH is like mega horny!!! He wasn't so much during the pregnancy, and now!!! It's like all he thinks about is sex!!! He touches me a lot, keeps making hints at sexual favors, does typical man stuff to try and get some. He knows I can't have sex yet, but he wants other favors. Like, WTF!?! I'm not sure why all of a sudden now that I'm not fat, and I don't have a baby inside me, its go time for sexual favors.

    MEN.ARE.WEIRD!!

     

     
  6. iampam

    iampam Active Member

    I'm thinking about putting Eddie in daycare part-time, a few days a week, just for the next few weeks. DH is up in Seattle working at his new job, but I have a month to go before I move. I have a hard time getting anything done with Eddie underfoot, and I am trying to finish up a research project before I go.

    My friend works there part-time, so I know a lot about the place. I visited a few days ago and wasn't super impressed, but it's pretty cheap ($16 for a half-day, $32 for a full day, that's way cheaper than a baby-sitter!). He would be in the baby room since he's not walking yet. That's where my friend's daughter is too, they can be the big bullies together.

    It was a pain to get the vaccination stuff filled out. We are delaying the hepatitis and chicken pox vaccines which are mandatory for daycare, and there's a new law in my state saying I have to get a doctor signature saying I've been informed of the risks. We live a good 45 minutes from the pediatrician now, and they are in Oregon, so I don't think they had seen one of these forms yet. We got it sorted out eventually though, so maybe we'll start Monday.

    He is up-to-date on his pertussis shots, that's the big one everyone is freaking out about right now. Our state wants the CDC to step in and do something about it. The state is running these PSAs on the radio with this tearful mom whose infant daughter died of pertussis. They drive me nuts because the mom says it was "completely preventable." Bullshit!

    I got the vaccine right after Eddie was born (and I think now they are giving it before birth). So did everyone else in my family. I am not anti-vaccine, and I am not even anti-this vaccine. But I think it does a disservice to the public to be dishonest about the disease and the vaccine.

    When vaccinated kids get the disease (which they are, probably at far higher rates than anyone realizes since it usually goes undiagnosed and untested), their symptoms are usually more mild, and their cough doesn't have the "whoop" sound to it. They aren't usually _that_ sick and end up going to school and daycare and spreading the it around.

    I just don't think that demonizing people who choose not to vaccinate is terribly productive if you truly want to stop the spread of pertussis. They should focus on educating parents on what a mild case of pertussis looks like, and emphasis keeping even mildly sick kids out of school and daycare. Yes, that is a giant pain for the parents, but it would be far more effective in stopping the spread of the disease than leading the public to believe that the anti-vaxers are to blame (which leads most people to believe they don't need to do anything since they have the shot).
  7. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    About a week after I had RJ I was so ridiculously horny, but I still had stitches and mild swelling from two second-degree tears (they told me I had 27 stitches at the hospital). When I was feeling good down there I started begging for it and SO didn't want to. I finally talked him into it at 3 weeks PP.

    I've been having cramping and spotting off and on since the car accident. It's all brown and thick so definitely old blood and they aren't too concerned. The blood from the placental tear has to go somewhere.
  8. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya New Member

    I see! About the digestive system...

    Thanks!
  9. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    pam-I feel the same way about an ad campaign they ran in Milwaukee. It consists of horrifying images of a baby sleeping in a diaper, a bed full of fluffy pillows and blankets next to a GIANT butcher knife. It pisses me off SO bad. First, unless it's 100+ degree out, my tiny babies don't get put to bed in just a diaper. Second, they never get put ANYWHERE with fluffy blankets and pillows. And, third, REALLY? A freaking butcher knife??

    It all goes back to the same thing...you have to EDUCATE people...not scare the sh*t out of them! I support the decision to choose whether or not to vaccinate. We are the parents, so we should make the decision about what is best for our kids. Just do your research to know what the risks/benefits are. Likewise, when armed with the proper education about decisions such as co-sleeping, we can make smart and informed choices. No one says anything about the fact that co-sleeping reduces infant apneas significantly and allows baby to learn to go in and out of deep sleep my mimicing mama's sleep patterns. Moreover, people who choose not to co-sleep often still (at some point) allow thier children in bed with them. This is usually less safe than a pre-arranged co-sleeping system as daddy is often unaware that baby is there, the pillow/blanket situation can be unsafe in a typical adult bed and there are often no barriers to keep baby from falling out of bed or sliding in between the wall and bed, etc. Rather than scare parents into doing something that may not feel right to them, they should talk about the risks and benefits of these choices and safe ways to do things such as co-sleep, etc. Not saying you have to do one or the other, just know the advantages/disadvantages.

    Same BS came out a few years ago about wearing your infant in a sling, etc. My family was all up in arms about me wearing James in a sling as a result. What they should have done (after re-calling the defective slings of course) was educate parents as to the safe ways to wear an infant and proper safety guidelines to follow when using any sling.

    Arg...touched on a nerve there pam! But isn't that the way of the government/media-overreact and make broad, sweeping generalizations?
  10. iampam

    iampam Active Member

    Totally agree with you on the co-sleeping and babywearing!


    On a random note... Last summer at a garage sale, I got a frame backpack carrier. My dad had mentioned maybe he would wear Eddie if he had one of those, and DH wasn't a big fan of the Ergo. My dad hasn't used it yet, but DH uses it whenever he wants to take Eddie for a walk. I am not a fan of what a crotch dangler it is, but tolerate it since I like DH getting out of the house with Eddie.

    I did research on frame carriers, and people in the babywearing community say that Deuter has the best, they are the least crotch-dangly. It's been in the back of my mind to try and get one, but it's pretty low priority, and they don't come up used that often.

    Anyway, I stopped by my local consignment store today and they had one! It was $90, but I had $12 in consigner credit, and got an additional $5 off through a punch card. I wore him in it around the store and it was super comfortable for both of us! DH probably won't be too happy, hopefully he finds it comfortable too.
  11. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    I have a Dueter Kid Comfort II and LOVE it! If it ever gets uncomfortable, keep in mind there are a million variations for adjusting the straps, etc. for yours and Eddie's comfort. DH wore it while I was pregnant and liked it as well.

    I've done a good 5+ miles in Yosemite in one morning as well as lots of other sight-seeing without ever getting sore. I've even used it during super needy times w/ James to make dinner or fold laundry. Very nice for an older toddler when some support to distribute the weight is a necessity.
  12. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    Okay-so, I've got the baking bug again. I was baking like a mad fool while still pregnant (as usual-I LOVE all things culinary while knocked-up [​IMG] ). But, I really seem to botch things in the kitchen after having a baby. That and I cannot manage to grocery shop very well-like I wander around forever looking for what I need-I digress...

    Anyways, last night I was starting to crave some kitchen-time, so I threw together a batch of scones. This morning, scratch vanilla cupcakes filled with meyer lemon curd I had put away from a batch I made in January and piped with fresh buttercream. This afternoon: homemade cinnamon rolls and cream cheese frosting. I love this recipe, it is so gratifying to see the ball of dough come together into these softball-sized cinnamon rolls...mmmm... Anyways, hubby has a very busy day scheduled tomorrow, so in addition to packing sandwiches for the men, I thought this would be a nice morning treat.

    Here are the cupcakes (and yes, they are in a bakery box because I keep them on hand for transporting goodies to the office, etc.)
    [​IMG]

    Here are the cinn. rolls pre-oven. Aren't they freaking-huge? Will post pics of the final product in the AM.
    [​IMG]

    Okay, I'm done bragging on my treats. I'm just so glad I seem to be back in the groove! :)
  13. Bron

    Bron New Member

    HWG those look delicious [​IMG]

    Pam vaccines can get really annoying - I am trying to decide what to do about Kirima's next set which are due in the middle of this month - I am not sure what she is due though so its hard to decide (need to go and look it up) - they will be very expensive though and I know one is the MMR which I would feel happier leaving til later (Laurana never did have it at all) I may decide to leave them - no one has ever asked for a vaccine card for Laurana and she has been in a couple of different schools. I do actually find this a bit weird as they used to check and not let children in if they weren't vaccinated, but not anymore.

    As for pertussis - I had the vaccines and still got it when I was 19 years old - no one could diagnose it and I coughed really badly for 6 months before somehow it cured by itself. I only found out it was whooping cough because an aunt of mine got it from me and she was diagnosed with it.

    I have been SO sick this last weekend and am still not back to normal though much better. DH seems to be coming down with it now too and Kirima has been mildly sick for a while. I am hoping Laurana won't pick it up. I went to the doctor today to get some anti depressants and also a repeat for eltroxin, but didn't bother much about teh illness as it must be a flu virus (headaches, gastro, sore muscles all rolled together) My dogs have all started with kennel cough so I went and got them some medication (thank heavens they knew I am a vet so I didn't have to take the dogs in) Basically I am trying to take it easy right now and not really succeeding.
  14. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    Yeah, MMR and Chicken pox are the only ones we didn't give James. We postpone some (like Hep B) but eventually give just about everything. MMR, I don't know why I don't want to give it, but it just seems scary to me. Chicken pox seems rediculous to me since when we were kids everyone just got the chicken pox, took a week off of school and moved on! It was a right of passage! Now, DH never caught it as a child and he did get it when he was like 25/26. Holy crap-that was HORRIBLE! I guess if my kids don't get it by a certain age I will vaccinate to spare them the horror of having it as an adult.

    Sorry you were/are sick Bron! Seems to be the season!

    Joseph now has James' bug. James' went bacterial last week and was put on antibiotics which are helping tremendously. Seriously, the kid was gross-green snot was pouring from his nose and EYES! Ick! Joseph is getting quite congested and we spent the night in the recliner to keep him elevated. SUCKS! I quarentined us for a month to stay healthy and as soon as we start getting out-SICK AGAIN! Arg...
  15. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Ugh, sorry to hear about the illnesses. We're finally recovered for the most part. Caitlin and I were the last to clear up and I still have a bit of a stuffy/runny nose, but hers seems to be gone today. We've gone through about 5 boxes of tissues in this house in the past 2 weeks, it was nuts! Every time I blew my nose I felt like a gallon of snot was coming out of me, yum! Luckily for all of us it never turned green and was always clear.

    HWG - those look yummy! I'm not much of a cook or baker. It's not that I can't, it's more like I don't like to, lol! I did find a new recipe dubbed the "perfect" chocolate chip cookie recipe and it really is! I've made about 4 batches of them over the past few weeks and they really are probably the best I've had. I LOVE cheesecake and I've made quite a few of those but have massive issues with cracking. My neighbor makes them to sell (hers are awesome!) and gave me her recipe but they still end up looking like the grand canyon in the middle. I'm going to make one this weekend for Mother's Day and hope she will help me to see what I'm doing wrong. At least they always taste good even though they don't look the best. In the cooking department my pressure cooker has become my absolute best friend. I use that thing ALL the time! A while back a piece broke on it and I couldn't use it for like a week while I waited for the replacement part and I had no idea what to make for dinner without it! I made a roast in it on Saturday for when DH and his dad got home but was worried it was going to be horrible because the roast was SEVERELY freezer burned (like looked like rubber bad!). I told them that if tasted too bad from it we would just order pizza. DH's dad LOVED it, and he is seriously picky when it comes to food, especially meat. He said it was one of the most tender and juicy pieces of meat he's ever had and even asked to have the leftovers yesterday! Yay for salvaging freezer burned meat! I love that you can just throw a bunch of stuff in it, turn it on, and forget about it until it beeps and voila, you have dinner! And it's just one pot to clean up! LOVE IT!!!

     

     
  16. nessa26

    nessa26 New Member

    OMG HWG!! Can I have your address? I'll be right over, and be more than happy to help you finish those pastries!!! LOL!!

    As for vaccines, I'm not one to delay or refuse vaccines, but to each their own. I know they are important. At our first well baby appointment, the pedi said to make sure anyone coming in contact with the baby be up to date on their Tdap vaccine.

    HWG, I hope your boys get better soon!!!
  17. iampam

    iampam Active Member

    Mmmmm those cupcake and cinnamon rolls look delicious!

    We are delaying the hepatitis shots until ~age 12 or so. Chicken pox, I would prefer he get naturally, but if he doesn't, we'll do the vaccine around age 12 or so as well.

    I think we'll pass on flu shots. I've had some in the past but he hasn't. If he goes into daycare or school full-time I might reconsider (might reconsider Hep as well).

    HPV it will be interesting to see where that is in 10 years. I definitely won't give the vaccine to him. When he is old enough to do his own research and make an informed decision, he can make that decision himself.

    He's due for the MMR and a bunch of other shots, but we haven't had his one year appointment yet, so he hasn't had them yet.
  18. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    HWG, those look delicious! I'm with labby, I really don't like baking very much. But I do enjoy the results of other's efforts. Could you post the recipe for the cinnamon rolls?

    labby, I made green chile shredded chicken in the pressure cooker last night! It was amazing, and took, prep time and all, less than 45 minutes.

    Okay, Piper is acting like <span style="text-decoration: line-through">a little hellion</span>, a 3-year old. Tantrum after tantrum. Screaming fits. Hitting me, biting me. She threw her shoe at me while I was driving...and she has really good aim. Not listening, at all. She put a pullup on and pooped in it. I have no idea what is going on with her. We're consistent with our rules and our discipline, but I think we're really going to have to ratchet down on priviledges.

    And goodie, my inlaws are coming this weekend. I'm sure they'll tell me story after story of how perfect my sil's sons were at this age.

    And Piper's party is this weekend too. I'm not feeling too enthusiastic about it today.
  19. Bron

    Bron New Member

    We had a rough time with chicken pox with Laurana - she still has some marks on her face from it that I am not happy about - still hoping they will get much smaller as she ages. So because of that Kirima has had the chicken pox vaccine.
  20. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    Some parents base their decision to vaccinate on how badly they themselves got the disease. Like, I've heard of pox inside the nose and throat, near the vagina--cases were the pox was just a really horrible experience that's remembered vividly 20 years later. I forget whether P has the chicken pox vaccine or not. I know it was delayed, but I probably had it given to her after she started daycare and I saw how quickly illnesses run through all the kids.

    You know what annoys me? Celebrities giving any sort of advice. At the moment, my ire is directed at celebrities giving parenting advice. One was on NPR this weekend, and in my opinion, her self satisfied smugness is, I dunno, just annoying. But I really had to laugh when she proclaimed that she is still practicing neuroscience because she's teaching it to her little homeschooled kids. REALLY? Still practicing neuroscience, huh? I laughed and laughed. (I just googled and her kids are older than I thought (4 and 12) but umm, even she would have to agree that teaching your young homeschooled kids is not keeping current in the field of neuroscience...and to even think so is just so full of self importance that, well, I have no idea where I'm going with this whole rant).

    Confused, happy belated birthday to M!!

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