Need to get wife to peg me need help

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by wanttobepegged, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. wanttobepegged

    wanttobepegged New Member

    hello everyone i am so frustrated and don't know what to do. I would like my wife to peg me. she tried a vib on me a few years ago and it was a lil uncomfortable at first but then it started a feeling in me and now i can't get that feeling of my mind. I have been trying to hint to her that i want her to peg me but she is reluctant. I feel that it would make her uncomfortable and is not in to that, but i cant get it off my mind as it was a wild feeling after i relaxed. I have been told all my life the I have an ora of strong male. Because of that I have alway ways gotten respect of many women and men and because of that ora i just naturally give off. i think that is why as she does not want to she her man any less of a man. I am not intrested in being with men but would like her to strap one on. I have since used a dildo on my self and have never felt an orgasm like that it was accutaly mind shattering. just frustrated and don't know what to do. I love my wife as she is my closest friend and soulmate. I make sure to do everything i can possibly do for her. I know I am very deeply loved by her and i deeply love her but she is not intrested in that. she has made jokes of role reversal and i never did anything to discourage it. I know she does not like to play with my but or let me play with her's. she did once and i did not know what i know now and did it wrong I should have tried it in spooning postion and not doggy (as it is supossed to be the most painful) foolish man i am. If anyone has any ideas of how to help me get her to understand and get excited over pegging. if you and good books or movies that have a little of it in that might spark an intrest

  2. makelove

    makelove New Member

    hello you,

    first of all, I think you are already one step further than most men in that respect. you know what you like and you are happy to voice it. I think many men still think of having something inside them as taking away from their masculinity for some reason. I completely agree that it has nothing to do with it.
    Men and women both have the same shape and nerves in their anus so if some women enjoy it, why not men? It is ridiculous to assume it would have something to do with whether you are gay or not.

    I think you explained it really well in your post but it sounds like you haven't talked to your wife about it that much yet? Maybe it is worth having a conversation about it when you are not having sex. It is often a bit overwhelming if these things pop up whilst you are already 'at it'. But I can imagine if you say that you would like to talk about this because it is something you genuinely enjoy, she would be open to at least contemplate or experiment a little. Maybe she also needs to let go of that 'this is my role, this is his role' a little?

    Personally I would recommend doing smaller experiments with her first (maybe she can insert a finger whilst you are having sex or something similar) and not start off by watching or shogin her movies as they can be quite full on and might 'scare her off' at first?

    If she doesn't like to wear a strap on or actively stimulate you, maybe a good solution could be that you wear a butt plug whilst you are having sex? My partner and I both have one and whilst we don't use it all the time, every now and then it just adds this amazing extra dimension to our play!

    We both have the Lelo butt plugs..they are a little bit expensive but they look and feel great!

  3. Yellowbeard

    Yellowbeard New Member

    I've been pegged. Current girlfriend has grown to really like doing it to me. Buildup to it started not long after we became intimate. We were talking about prior intimate experiences, how ex-spouses had been very vanilla, we'd wanted to experiment, but had been frustrated our partners hadn't, etc. I'd also had a post divorce relationship with a crazy girl (diagnosed by a psychiatrist as it turned out), but she was a wild one in the bedroom. GF asked me what the wildest thing I'd done was, and expressed a bit of self-consciousness and fear of being able to measure up. I just told her not to worry, I thought she was better already, and then told the story. Prior GF had just popped into the bedroom one night sporting a strap-on w/out warning. I'd been in a position before where my ex-wife had been vanilla and didn't want to deny her something she wanted to experiment with, figured it was still an act between a man and woman, and therefore, hetero, so consented.

    And enjoyed it. And so got pegged occasionally after that during the rest of the relationship. It was something, however, that it wasn't a favorite. I never had the heart to tell her, but she didn't have the gross motor body control and never did move quite coordinated enough to really be good at it. It was nice, I didn't dislike it, okay occasionally, but also had things that felt better to me.

    Eventually, current GF asked about it again. She'd not really been exposed to a lot of bedroom things before (so she said), is still easily embarressed about sex, etc., but was making herself ask some questions, so I asked if she was interested in pegging me. She said yes, but was still sheepish about it. I just reassured her that if she really wanted to, she could. Ended up with a trip to the local adult shop, picked out a device, and home we went and obviously tried it out not too long after.

    Well, current GF has a lot more...shall we say ability. As the relationship has progressed, she's gotten less shy and sheepish in the bedroom. Her strap-on has built in implements to stimulate her too, and after some practice, getting used to and comfortable, and then growing to really enjoy being "the one in charge", she now orgasms rather strongly while she's pegging me. She gets rather vigorous as well. I find it, with her, to be something that has turned into one of my favorites.

    I think the keys to the mechanics of it relax, use lube, and use lots of lube. The other side is that I think for pegging to be reallly good for both people involved, the man has to be willing to be totally vulnerable and open to her, and she's got to be really comfortable in the relationship. Otherwise, she won't be able to let go enough to really get her mind into it.

    So for you guys that want to try this...find a monogamous woman that's got the adventurous in the bedroom mindset, build the relationship outside the bedroom first, and then be patient and take things slow. No pressuring. It's okay to express things you'd like to try, but it's got to be done in a safe, non-demanding way, and you've got to let her progress through it at her own speed.

  4. peterpeg

    peterpeg New Member

    Hey wanttobepegged,

    I used to be in the exact same situation. It took me quite a few years to work out how to bring up the subject with my girlfriend. The problem is that as males we are expected to take the lead in the bedroom - which is normally a great privilege and very enjoyable - but when it comes to pegging the whole point is the role reversal, so it almost spoils it to take the lead. WE want to be the ones being lead.

    I guess this is a valuable insight into how many women must feel when their lover doesn't take the lead! I think that's why 50 shades was so popular; all about a man who intuitively knew what his woman would like and wanted to lead her through it.

    Anyway, I digress. One thing I have found really helpful with this is something I call the "doorway" technique.

    What you need to do is to take the lead with the subject OUTSIDE of the bedroom. Basically, you act in the traditional "male role" of leading the conversation and sexual act.

    BUT when you get to the bedroom, you wait outside the door and ask "are you ready? It's time for you to be in charge. When we go through the doorway, I am all yours." This is like handing over the role to her. It's sexy for her as you remain the confident, leading man she loves you to be, but you clearly hand over initiative for the session to her. It also makes it clear that the dominant, leading man she loves is still there. It makes it more about roles.

    You can do this with other symbolic things e.g putting on the harness. Or any other "doorway" moment.

    I hope this helps. By random coincidence I am actually starting a free newsletter about pegging, and one of the areas I am going to cover is how to bring up the subject of pegging without putting pressure on your relationship.

    If you're interested, it's here:

    Pegging Tips Free Newsletter


Share This Page